Randomthoughts of me.

[Dauthi]

The cold water slowly crept up her legs as she hung from the ceiling of the long dark shaft. With ever minute that passed by she could feel her body slowly fading, her mind slowly swallowing itself, eating away at her ever thoughts, ever so slightly that with ever minute that went by it seemed like a year out of her once young youthful life. As she start to fade off into the darkness, to leave this place, a shock of frozen water would rise enough to waken her tender nerves, sending them off into a frenzy, try everything in their power to bring worth to the slowly but surely freezing skin of her pale white legs.

With ever raise of the water, tears of pain and sorrow flowed from her beautiful green eyes, down her white rosy cheeks, till it reached her edge of her face, falling off unto the beer skin of her once warm filled body that hangs lifelessly frozen down the middle of a large shaft. The tears flow silently down the body, around her blue tinted bosoms, passing over the growling stomach, sliding down to her inner thigh last her knees landing silently in the cold dark water of her dismise.


-----------------------------------


For them who read this and wish to make a comment feel free. I'm working on getting my writing ablities stronger by making these short little stories for myself. *shrugs* opinions/comments/suggestions are always welcomed, but remember I don't have to always agree or like them. :P

[Dauthi]

Air. breath! Why! Can’t! I! Breath! thoughts filled her mind as she layed there squirming trying to get him off her. Kicking, punchin, scratching.

Harder and harder he pushed. Darker and Darker it got. The more she could not feel her arms, the more she started to slip. Slipping further and further into the darkness. Slowly fading into the unknowning world. soaring in the dark abyss of the after life. ...

[Dauthi]

The black ooze flowed slowly down the long shinny shaft, slowly picking up spead as it is getting closer to the ground. Until if finaly strikes the ground, and starts to puddle into one solid looking object. Slowly smothing itsself out creating a smooth soft surface. In the midnight sky, the moon reflected off ofs its surface, creating a mirror. Soon the moons refection could be seen in the puddle. As more and more of the dark milkly liquid flowwed off the long shinny sivler shaft, the moon allowed for more then itself to be reflected in the dark puddle. Branches from the tree line soon started to take over the puddle, covering the moon behind them.

A set of eyes could be seen glowing in the edge of the clearing. The eyes of a young boy. He looked upon the every growing liquid around the sword, pain filled his eyes. His life was shattered this night. Pure pain filled his body, paraliyzing him. He wanted to go running into the clearing screaming, but his body would not let him move.

"Vengences was had here today" a raspy voice rang out into the darkness. The words flowwed with the wind into the ears of the young boy. Rattling in side his head. vengence..... vengence.....

[Dauthi]

She stood there looking out into the morning sky. The sun was just about to break the horizon. The sky was a mixture of oranges and purples. She could feel the morning breaze browing threw her hair, the fresh crisp morning air. The world seemed to be in a moment of hush, everything waiting to burst into a frenzy, waiting for the sun to come forth from the edge.

A tear rolled out of her eye down her check, curving down her jaw bown to only fall off her face, down it fell, thirty feet, until it exploded on a jagged rock. The thoughts of her daughter came to her mind, a 3 month old little girl sleeping silently in the car behind her. Who would take care of her? Would anyone?

The sun was about to break the horizon, the golden light started to form at the edge of the earth. Could she handle it? Could thing actualy change in life? No. Life was over, it was her time. She had lost to much already.

Letting go of the rail she leaned forward, she could feel the ground under feet start to give away as she leaned further and further over the edge.

[Dauthi]

In the darkest corner of the darkest room in the darkest house of the darkest street in the darkest town of the darkest state, I sit, by myself, with my thoughts, my dreams, my hopes. I sit, pondering, dreaming, decideding, forgetting, hoping, wishing, hating, loving, loathing, crying, thinking. I sit alone. No one around to comfort me. No one around to love me. No one around to hold me, solve me, fix me, bend me, please me, hate me, scream, cry, hit, or dream with me. Not a soul. All I have are my thoughts.

And with them thoughts all I have is you.
You, who I can't touch, can't feel, can't even talk to.
You who has seen me a hundred times but look past me as if I'm not there.
You are all I have, but I don't have you. You are only dreams.
In my dreams I can hold you, kiss you, talk to you, fix you, and be with you.
But that is only in my dreams.
Because of you I sit now, silently in my hole, in my corner.
Dreaming, wishing, hoping.
I sit there empty.
I sit there in the darkness...

[Thenician]

DONNIE DARKO!

That's where your signature is from. I kept staring at it. Knowing I'd heard it somewhere before.

[Dauthi]

blah
*kicks thenican*

You know I came into this thead thinking someone might of actualy read what I wrote or even gone as far as to respond to it.

but NOOOOOOOO

you have to go and ruining by trying to figure out where my sigline came from.

Yes Donnie Darko.

Among others that I will some day grace my sigline. Why cause that movie is the shiznits. No other movie out there like it.

[Voice Caile]

*beats Thenician*

Bad! If you're going to comment, comment on the work. If you must respond regarding his sigline then PM him or something. We're not comments.

No cookie for you!

[Dauthi]

The empty face of darkness clouds my mind. The hollow promise of success covers the hidden hand of failure. The ever longing to live distracts the deadly fate of death.

Yet everday, we, as humans, wake up, be it in the morning or at night, knowning that today is the day. Today can be the day that will shape our lives, fix our futures, change the outcome of everything that we have been dreading to happen. Everyday, we hope, that we can become something we never were supposed to be, for if we where supposed to be then would we not be?

Why do we dream of being something we are not? Why can't we, as humans, live with the fact that we are not supposed to be anything more then what we are? Do we have to fill ourselfs with these false prides, and egos just to make ourself seem like we are more then what we are? Or does it really matter, are the dreams nothing more then a way to make it so we can live with what we are. Knowning that the dreams are what makes us happy, and as long as someone else is living your dream then your dream will keep being a dream worth having?

I, am no differnet then any one of you out there. I dream, I have dreams fill with wonderful activities from money, sex, happyness, even dreams of being with friends doing nothing more then hanging out. I dream of weird bizzar acts of life, I dream of being something I'm not, I dream of being able to do things i'm not able to do. I dream of actualy expressing my true feelsings for the one I desire, hold that person, dancing, and just being with that person. I dream of power wealth and happyness like everyone else. So, i'm not here asking why do people dream because I can't dream, I'm asking why do people feel so happy when they dream, why do they want to dream. Why is it that a dream can shape the out come of you life? Are dreams really that powerful?

[Dauthi]

Grrr..

Whats up with todays society? Why are so many females wearing their hair short? Do they honestly think it makes them differnet or is there a secret meaning behind it? And what guy finds that attractive? Are their any guys in this world who looks at two very beautiful ladies one with short and one with slighly long hair, and picks the one with short hair? I really hope not. I know it sounds evil and mean to say something like that but I don't think its attractive at all.

By short hair I don't mean the ear length or shoulder length. I mean the girls who have less hair on their head then I have on mine. I used to have longer hair, but I don't anymore. My hair is no more than two inches long. And girls who have their head buzzed or really short are to me unattractive. Girls need hair, they need hair long enough to run your hands through. Girls should NOT be bald. Now, I understand that some females do it because they swing the other way and they want to show their masculanity(msp?), but what the fuck, I mean they of all people should really understand where I'm coming from. They should fully understand that guys enjoy girls with longer hair, not like middle of back, top of the ass long, but girls with hair that is middle of ear down to the shoulders. That long, long enough to run your hands threw.

Now why am I ranting about this. *poitns to PR* its seems like 90% of the females who are on this have short fucking hair. They chop off their hair, or tie it back so no one can see it. Whats wrong with you people. Grow it out, and let it down. Be proud of your hair and let everyone see it. The way your hair falls on your face can change the way you look from pissed to sexy to sad in a matter of secounds.


grrrr...


frustration, pain anger.

[Dauthi]

I twist, I fall.
I bind, I cry.
I bleed, I die.

I wine, I crawl.
I blow, I fly.
I fall, I die.

I sit here dieing, breath hoping.
I cry here.
I bleed here.

My arms are open, and mind is closed.
My dreams I give, and heart is broken.
I ask you why, you tell me no.

All I want is you. You who I can’t touch.
You who refuses to see me.
You make my life worth living.
You make me cry.
I just want to have you
Keep you.
before I die.

[Dauthi]

I don't expect anyone to really read this, I mean hell I would not. I'm just writing it because I feel the need to write. I have nothing else to do, since i'm a loser and all.

Life is filled with all kinds of people, happy, sad, pissy, giddy, neutral, evil, good, energentic, lazy, procrastinators, and what have you. Alot of times, people have many of them qualitys laying dormate or active inside of us, we can fall into two or more catagories all at the same time, and this is something I have thought about alot. Differences between us, between each person. Each choose we make, from the time we are born to the time we are dead is stored inside of our brain, each choose, decision, action, thought, dream, story we come up with is stored away inside or called from the deepest part of your brain. Since we only use 10% of our brains it is safe to assume that most of the times we dont' releize it. We can only remember things that are deemed important enough to be stored inside the sector of our memory cell(brain) that we use, everything else, every little detail, memory, though or dream is stored in the other 90% percent, someplace deep with in the cavity, labled and marked. Filed, and catogorezed, waiting to something or someone to try and open it up and read it. Now depending on how good we are at catogerizing the information, and labling it is how quickly we can remember something that is not with in the 10% sectory, cause when we try to remember something that you can't think of right off, we have search, and gather information on it. Sometimes things are lost, but not in the sense they are lost like no longer findable, but lost as in misplaced. How are they misplaced? Your the only one who can look at them right? No. We arnt, we are all somehow connected into a twine network of beings that are connected to everything in the world, universe you name it. Connected threw thin lines of beings that allow us to connect to each other in ways that are hard to explain. People are drawn to each other by these connective lines, the stronger they are the stronger the draw to the person, be it friendship, or partner ship. The fabric is what draws us to our friends, our lovers, our enemies.

example:

You ever been in the same room with a couple of friends and something on the TV comes on about womans prefume, and your thinking "wow I could use a some food right now" and then your friend from across the room is like, "Dudes i'm hungry, wanna go out to eat?" and then yourlike " Yeah me to!".

It is cause of these lines of connectivity that you, him and others in your group feel the same way, act the same way and do the same things, Granted you arnt going to be 100% the same because no matter how strong the lines are we are each humans, we each have free choose in life and we will make differnet desisions in life. Alot of times the lines of connectivity are affected by your chooses, someone who you used to feel alot for could easly become your worse enemy over night because they have choosen something you did not, making that line, that connection a foul, distastful connection that your innerself does not want. Thus the hate and resentment.

Another example:

How about your walking down dark allyway and you can feel/sense something is wrong or someone is following you? Do you really think that you have this special power to make you feel danger like spiderman? No, the person following you or stalking you is drawn to you building a line of connection and your innerself feels that bridge being built, like or not.

Now, your probly wondering why i'm running off on a tangent about something so useless and pointless outside of the fact that I'm looking to write something, well generaly that is probly it, but, I'm looking at my connections, my friends, my family, things in life. And I'm releazing that the connections in my life are slowly dieing off, and new ones are being made, but ones that I'm not sure if I want to be built, now I can't really stop them from dieing off or new ones from being built because really it takes two for the connections to be built or broken, but what I have been thinkings it is I who is destroying the connections, is it myself loathing anti change or inner feelings or something that is destroying the bridges of connections for friends and family or is it them, have they changed? What chooses have I made recently that are being stored in my vault that could affect these brdiges, and what chooses have they made? Also, anther question that I just thought of, if two people do two differnet things with out the other knowning will that affect the bridge of connectivy between them? Will there connection be weakend or strengthen by activities, chooses, that they DON"T know about? I don't see why not, for it is not our awaken self that is making the chooses to connect it is our inner, deep dark self, our true beings that are conencted.

[CreatureOfTheNight]

Ok, I just have to say wow. Your stuff is amazing. The depth and creativity is incredible. I really liked the poem about two posts back, it really touched me.

Also, your last post really rings true with me. I've been having similar thoughts for about half a year. I believe that all beings within our reality are connected by the simple fact that we all exist. When our subconscious acknowledges another beings' existence, a bond begins to form, making that being seem more real.

Sorry, now I'm going off on a bit of a tangent here. What I really wanted to say is that even though people aren't really reading this, it doesn't make you a loser. Though you are right about having nothing better to do, because as long as you are exploring who you really are, there is nothing more important.

Ok, I'll stop now, I wouldn't want to scare the children.

[Dauthi]

I sleep to night
knowning full well.
How much you hate me.
And how much it dwells
inside you to think I am
alive and breathing once again.
The cold burning flame
eats you up inside
before you take aim
remember that I to
fell for the love game.

Take what you must
my life is almost over
I have to been lost
with out my lover.
For she was my light
that made me sober
from the pain of life
in this dark October.

84

[Dauthi]

She layed there breathing slowly, and lightly,in hopes to hear the ground creak as he came closer to her, she could only hope that he would not open the doors. She knew what she was capable of, she knew he was coming for her, but why was he coming, why did he want take her life, a life she up until yesterday hated, a life of torment and pain, humliations. A life in which she had to lie to herself so she could make it through the day, knowning deep down she was not what she wanted to be, not even a close. She was nothing more then the one thing she ever wanted to be, but why did he want to hurt her? What had she done wrong in her life that made him feel the need to come after her and her family like this?

The sound of foot steps could be heard off in the distances, slow and steady. Working their way closer to her room. Closer and closer, eat step getting louder, and louder, she could feel her heart beat each and every time the sound hit her ears, the sound of his feet hitting the floor. A pause, had he choosen to stop, no, the door krept slowly, as it opened. She layed there on the floor and watched his feet, move slowing into the room. Holding her breath, she watched as he passed around the room, hopeing and praying that he would not notice her, he passed the room, and stopped at the side of the bed.

The pain. A cold, sharp object slide deep inside her, passing the inches of celelite, and fat that covered her body, bursting, freshly made pimples that covered her back, ooozing the warm puss out, ontop her back. It pushed deeper, and deepr, strickinga white chilled bone sending a jerking sensation down her left leg, forcing it to jerk violently as she dug her fingurenails into the hard wood floor scratching, and clawing trying to getaway, her screams rang loudly, and clear at first, but soon the sound of liquid filled her lungs drowing out the sound.

He pulled the long shaft from her back, and watched her as she crawled out from underneath the bed, watching her body giggle as jellow would, her massive body, covered in a warm mixture of puss and blood, spilled forth into the room as she cryed out for help.......

[Dauthi]

Who Am I?

I sit here day in and day out just wondering what is next, what choices do I have next, who will I meet, what will I have to do, are they worth it. All of them things that decided who we are. For we are nothing more then the choices we choice over a course of time. Our past describe who we are, and who we are will describe what we choose in the future. So does that mean there is a chance for change? Will i ever been anything differnet then what I am with outside out help? Can I choose to become something differnet or will I need help from people in my life? or can I even change at all, or will I forever be the same person?

If the actions of my past, speak for who I am now, will my actions of now speak for I will be tomorrow? And who I am tomorrow will they speak for my actions of what I will do for the next 10 years? Why do these thoughts fill my head? Why is my brain taoughting me, teasing me with ideas yet never givening me enough to complete a full outright thought that will exploid on paper and turn into something that give me a earth shaking, mind blowing, world stopping topic? Am I meant to be some sorta of medicore no body in this world to help the big guys becaomse who they are or am I to grow into something that might be of some sorts of importance? Does it matter? Should I settle for less then the world ruler? Does reaching for the stars really lead to death? Or does it mean that you have dreams, and dreams that will lead you to what you never thought you truely could be but always wanted to be? If that was true would you not need some sorta motivations?

Why do I jump from topic to topic like I do? I’m istting here in my room trying to think of something and just typing what comes to my mind and each time someone interupts me I end up changin my thought, its like I have this train of thought that can go miles upone miles, it may not make sense to you but it does to me. It make 100% to me, so I sit here writing, while I may be writing for myself, I’m also writing because I want input, input on my thoughts, to see if I’m truely crazy or not. Ya’know, like am I really just some typical loser kid who can’t talk to girls, and can’t particpate in real life, or am I some sorta psyco that needs to go see some sorta shrink to talk about my problem, but what problems do I have? I mean I got a controling noise bitch for a monther, a dad who is unresponsive as far as emotions, and rather enjoys is position on the bottom of the totempole when it comes to things, the only reason he does not lose his job ever winter is because the number of years he has been there, A older sister, who refuses to find a job, who I’m supposed to look to up but can’t, why because she played mom for to long to controling, always tried to get me in trouble, but has rrecnetly stopped, a brother who is probly the only perso I close to in my family on a friendship live, even though me and my dad are becomeing closer, who lives so far away I barely talk to him and i’m so lazy I can’t even get the energy to call him, we only talk when he calls, which is sad because I like talking to him, well kinda, its not like we need to talk its like we communitcate through thoughts, and it just works for us. There are three other losers in my family that I care not about because they are dumb and morons, but what problems do I have? Why do I need to go see a shrink I don’t do i? I mean I work a day job, 9 - 6 monday threw friday. 5 days a week. I bowl, I go out with friends some times, usualy over to a friends house and just chill and do very little. I spend a shit load of time sitting on the computer just playing video games,5 fucking years playing the same game over and over, every 2 months it resets and every reset I try again to become the highest ranked player, amoung a growing amount of players. When I first started playing there was some 40k players, now barly a 1k players. Why? fuck if I know, I wish more people woudl play. The game did not lose people because it sucks, it lost players because the core of its players are getting olders, I mean I was in high school when I first started playing, so were most of the pople then they are growing older and getting Lifes away from the computer. The game went pay to play for a while but its free now. Why are there not more people playing, I mean I see every day more people coming back to the game, but not fast enough. I wished all myf riends came back and I wish I could convince my RL friends that this game is worth their time, but no, I’m a loser who plays a online game that requires only 10 minutes of my day but I spend a good 2 - 3 hours a day playing the game, reading the boards, bitching arguing, flaming, debating, role playing and playing the political game with these people these people who I have never meet in my life. Most of these people where there for me the first time I crashed my computer, they were there for the first person to break my heart. They were there though the worse holiday season I ever had. They were there for my first acid trip or helped me during my random high writing. They showed me differnet music gave me ideas on topics to write in school, helped me with school projects. These people who come and go at a free time, they have no faces, they have only names, alts and characters. They ahve numbers and istance messangers. I consider them closer friends then I alot of my RL friends. Does that mean I have a problem? does that mean that I should sit down ever other week with some guy who gets paid a shit load of money, and talk about my problems. but does not writing about my ideas do the same thing? What do I crave when i do these little writings? Attention no. Cause when you message me I read them but don’t reply. When You don’t message me I figure you really don’t care, cause for all I know you don’t. Most of you probly don’t. Most of you see me as that guy who is dorky, tall and some times a moron. I don’t do anything entertaining, I’m not the focuse of your attention, very rarely do you even give me two thoughts in the same day. but does that matter? Should it matter? I mean it does a little, I hurts down in side, but then again I’m used to it. Most of my life has been like that. The only time anyone gives any thoughts of me is when i’m around and then its only a quick random thought that quickly leaves their minds, and becomes an after thought that slowly fades in the darkness of nothingness amoung the nother useless thoughts. Have I scared someones life enought to become a useful topic of discussion or am I a flower on the wall? A ignorant nothingness that floats about doing very little showing up some times throughing out that random joke but quickly forgot about. Does this ack of love, or attention give me the lack of motivation to do anything out side wake up every morning and pay my bills. Could it be that I am not what I want but really something I hate, and for that I hate myself and I can’t get myself to change to become something better, bigger, smarter, faster, more creative. Strive to become something better. but I ’m happy, I’m happy with my life, I’m happy with my friends, or at least the people I claim to be friends, I’m happy with my job, I’m not so happy with my status in life, but I’m most deffernently not happy with how people love past me in the group of people how they frequenly forget to call me to invite me to outings. I’m happpy with my bowling average and the relationship me and dad have. My sister and I’s relationship is good to but I’m not happy with my mother, I can’t stand her some days, and she can’t stand me.

*sighs*


ok I think I’m done.

[SIlverwolfe_]

Wow, you really have an excellent imagination. You have a very strange mind, and an excellent ability to state what poeple dont want to hear, be it twisted, or just plain boring. Might I suggest seeing a shrink to help you with all those extra voices you seem to hear?

[Dauthi]

Wow. Interesting nights, leads to interesting converstions with interesting people, doing interesting things. If you don’t know I guess you never will until its to late, then you will be stuck, feeling a warm creamy sensations bubbling in the back of your head while the growing pussy liquid fills in around your brain slowly eating away at it, and as your brain melts down into the nothing it is used for you will then realized that you might of needed that for the simple things in life like breathing, why will you realize it at that very moment your brain is about to dissappear? Simply, you will each out and grab your throat as you try so hard to suck in the horrible, toxic, death causing, brainkill population we call air, you will suck and suck but because of the the interesting nights that leads to meeting hte interesting people with interesting converstaion that do interesting things, your brain will not function the proper way and will not allow you to fill your inner workings with a nasty toxin that slowly kills you everyminute of everyday, but instead it would rather you die a rather fast and painful death of unedited pain, as your lungs fall into themselfs twistings, and cutting themselfs up, and allowing the warm creamy oz, we call blood fall inside of them, flowling up your throat, tickling the back of your throat, making your cough and hack while you try to grasp for your dieing breath that will never come, that will never fill your war torn lungs, and invade your once creative, imagative, underused, abused braincells, it will never beable to destroy, the creativeness you once had as a child, the imagations you could muster, the ease of amusement you provided yourselfs as a young child, never again, will your the nasty unforgivable air fill the passages of your body, for your body has finaly rejected the idea that breathings is usefull.

Fall down, hacking coughing, holding your hands to your chest, and grasp for that wonder nector we pollute ourselfs with day in and day out knowning that your life, the waste it was will go un remembered, you are nothing but a memory of the three people who will soon be a memory of three otherpeople and with their deaths your life will become unimportant, and your lifes goals and dreams will fall wasteside because you hung out with them interestiong people who say them interesting things while doing the intersting things on them interestings nights.



Point of my story?
When yoru bored you arnt’ remember by anyone.
Atleast be remember the three people you kill.

[Dauthi]

A dream of pure innocents, and true happenness lays quietly, silently nestled deap insides our dark twisted mind, hidden and covered with the growing oze of deceptions and vile corruptions. So fragle, yet ever going strong, often times forgotten, and misplaced by its host, but inside all of us there is a dream of pure innocents. A Dream that is so fragil, so weak, that needs the caring that only a mother could give to her baby, cradling it in her arms, rocking and singing to it. Keeping it warm, and out of harms ways. Yet, we don't, we allow our secrets and desires and fantasys to poke at this dream, to stab it, make it bleed, and drains it energy to fight back against the monsters of our brain.

embrace the dream.
Innocents in bliss.

[Dauthi]

The innocent.
The dream.

Batting of the eyes
... no....
quivering of the lips
..... almost yours....
a small dropping of the eyebrows
... gone ...

Your innocents buys my dreams
my dreams of many nights.
Nights where I long for you.

Your innocents is a dream.
a dream you install.
a facaid you play.

Deap down we know.
We know your true colors.
a dark past,
a past of nightly desires.
dreams and fanastys.

Innocents.

[Dauthi]

I lay here to night, alone, with only my thoughts to fill the gaint gapping hole betweeen my ears. I find myself thinking of you, your face, your moves, your comments, your words. I find myself wondering what if, should I, could I, and even the simple will I get the chance to thoughts, but who are you? Are you truely a angel sent to earth to give me a reason to move, a reason to wake up a reason to create, a reason to go on. Or are you another deamon, sent by the creatures in that seek my death, and dismay? Are you here to break my heart, create agony, and set me through twisting downward spiral of pain? Will you keep your promises, and bring me the desires I want, or are your actions, the gentle brushing up agianst me, batting of the eyes, long gazes, and quality time together nothing more then a ploy to twist me up inside, create inner turmoil, forcing me to sit late at night crying, dreaming, pondering, and wishing for something, some sorta of sign? I drown out the voices, telling me to becareful, to not trust you, the voices telling me that you are nothing more then a typical female, I force myself hope, I force myself to believe that someplace, somewhere, someday I will meet a person, who will not force me to cry, who will not force me to hate myself, to build another wall, a wall to block others out. I force myself to hope that someday that I will find someone who will tear down my walls, and touch my tender, wounded heart for the first time. Place their warm, trusting hands around it and heal all that has caused me pain in the past. I force myself to wonder is it you? Could you be that person? Could you bring me my happyness, bring me emotions, light the cold candle in my heart? Even with forcing myself to wonder, to hope, that you could be that person, I have a feeling, a deep dark feeling, a feeling that you are not that person, a seed that grows everyday, grows with ever minute that passes. Starting that wall, a wall that even if you are that person, that true one, caring angel here to save myself from the ravagings hordes of deamons,will push you away, slowly toward someone else. Destroying myself. So I sit here destroying, killing myself in my dark room, I weild no knife, no weapon, no drugs. I weild a brain.

[Dauthi]

The empty passing dreams follows from my fingures.
Each day that passes that you are not here It fades.
Fades so far away. Dissolveing into the distances.
The love that you insued in me disolves in the dawn.
You left with out a good bye. No word, no remorse.
You broke the promise, a scar that wont heal easy.
You look at me with disgust, a pain that wont ever go away.
I loved you.
You hate me.
Now I sit here, silently, with the pain of your love
flowing through out my cluttered disgruntled mind.
Destroying, feeding, building, burning the once
innocent, now twisted memories and desires of my life.
The man hanging from his noise in my closet will thank you.
For his life is now like mine, twisted, forebidden, forgotten.

[Dauthi]

Where where you?
How are you?
You have forgotten?

Do you remember?
Oviously not?

Yes, it is that time!
Out there past the ridge.
Us sitting there silently.

Have you got the time?
Are you listening to me?
This is bullshit.
Errors, is what caused this.

Memories is all we have.
Even if they are forgotten!
?

[Dauthi]

The Story -

In the beginning there was only a formless void… emptiness… for an eternity it was only this emptiness, but eventually there grew a spark… and another… and they chose for themselves a form. One what we now call “male” and the other “female”. For a time they were happy in their unity, smiling at each other through the emptiness with the knowledge that they were.

For yet another eternity they remained there in that void… before conceiving a plan… and according to that plan they created a world… The god first. He created a world of ground… large and strong… it was a wasteland. He was unhappy with his work and he sulked.. and the goddess cried… and the tears of her eyes fell upon the barren world and from them sprang the oceans, the rivers, and the lakes.

And they took each other’s hands and descended, smiling, upon the world they had created.

Again, for a time they were satisfied… but with the passing ages the goddess became bored with their world… and the god, unable to decide what to do, came to her and begged her tell him what was the matter. The goddess cried out to him.

“What good is a world on which there is nothing?” she spoke, and the god saw that she was truly unhappy.

He created for her the trees and the shape-shifting clouds… the birds of the air and the beasts of the seas and land, and when she saw this she laughed, and from her laughs were born the stars. She rose and went out to see these things that he had created. She was gifted with this sight and asked him to create for her, beings capable of seeing it with them, and from his loving hand was created the human race. And they spoke with her… they saw these things and loved them with her and she was happy.

Over time they became curious. As she had named them humans, they had given themselves names as well. And so they asked the gods what their names were… and confused, they answered.

The god said, “I am Indole, the master of living nature.”

And the goddess said, “I am Tierra, She who gave the world life.”

And they took upon themselves these names.

The humans praised and glorified them and beget children in their names. Indole and Tierra saw that they bore offspring and thus conceived their own and they called him “Medio” after the balance of all things. They were the ends of the scales and he was the fulcrum and always would there be balance.

From his smile was created the summer sun and his frown the winter moon. Between these times were became known as “Spring” when the winter was growing to summer, and “Autumn” when the summer began to die into the winter. After a time the goddess and the god were satisfied. Their child grew strong and became an adult, and when at last their time was passing they spoke to him these words.

“Child, soon we will be no more. We have lived ages… longer by eternities than these men you see before you. We are happy with you… live now… and never leave the flock unlead.”

And Medio’s mother died before his eyes. He was torn that one he needed so much should leave him in such a blink and in his confusion… his rage… he shattered into 5 pieces. A great volcano rose from the sea and fire and ash exploded into the air. The magma bore forth a great island and on it the shards of the child-god became gods themselves. With the death of their mother, the great age of ice descended upon the world, but thanks be to the God from whom all nature was born, creatures lived on… thrived even in the barrenness of the ice.

Near the end of this age the god saw that his children were discontented and jealous of each others’ gifts. They had each taken a name according to the strength that Medio had given them of himself.


The first to rise from the pieces was Durcheinander, the god of Chaos. He carried a great hammer that bore forth fire and brimstone.

The second was Sultan, the god of Order, who’s simple voice could calm the hatred in the hearts of men.

The third and fourth rose one after another, and from this comes the concepts of twins, for they both took up swords and shields and carried the banner of war. Guerriero, who was also known for her mercy and the love of her enemies, and Krieger, who was known for his ruthlessness and his hatred for all who opposed him.

The fifth was Calmo, who’s beautiful smile radiated down from the heavens upon the battlefield that Guerriero and Krieger warred upon. She begged them to stop their fighting and come home. Before the eyes of the gods and their young sister Guerriero and Krieger embraced, and hand in hand they returned to the isle.

Before long the discord had returned and Indole saw that they were again growing distant. From his feet came a great earthquake… it rocked the foundations of the very planet and as the land cracked, five islands were broken from the volcano, but with this display of his last strength, the God of all nature began to pass. With his passing, the balance began to return. The ice and snow died away to rain and drizzles. Men again grew strong.

With their father on his deathbed, the children began to fight… even young Calmo was wrapped up in the argument over who would ascend to the thrones of light.

To fight their battles, or defend, accordingly, the gods created new races.

Durcheinander, with his hammer, beat the metals of the earth into great caverns and there he crafted dwarves. The dwarves who lived secluded away from the world… who’s women rarely saw the light… if ever. The great blacksmiths. They grew strong and were great warriors. Untrusting of others but good at heart.

Sultan, seeing what Durcheinander had done, created Centaurs. The Centaurs who loved the open… who loved to feel the wind in their faces as they rode through the open spaces and feel the cool shade and nature of the forests as they lay there. They loved music, but for his purpose he gave them strength to defend themselves and skill at hiding to spy out intruders and hostiles.

Guerriero created goblins… the goblins who sought the wealth of the mining dwarves. Goblins watched the dwarves and from them learned basic war tactics, but still they could not defeat the dwarves and so they were forced into hiding.

Krieger created the trolls. Massive and stupid. They could only kill. In his hatred he had forgotten that warriors need to eat, and so because of his mistake his trolls would ever be forced to enlist aid in , magic, trade, and thievery.

Calmo, seeking to impress the others, created the shrewd elves, as beautiful even as she. She gave them the strength of magic and stealth, with which to hide and defend their realms. They hid in the forests and kept to themselves. Their magic and wealth going unheard of to the other races.

At first the gods were loathe to strike out at each other, but as Krieger grew impatient he sent his trolls to the neighboring island. They killed a full third of Durcheinander’s dwarves. He grew angry and struck back felling every troll that had come to his island. In rage at the “murder” of her twin’s trolls, Guerriero sent her goblins to defend her brother’s trolls.

In desperation Durcheinander begged the humans for their assistance, but in their love for the mother and father they refused. Durcheinander, in his rage, drew upon them a line of chaos that forced them into the darkness… they became vampires, forced to drink the blood of the living for sustenance, to hide in the night.

The races, given free will, began to desert and align with other deities… they formed kingdoms for the glory of their chosen god. And now, at near the climax of the hostility the mountain has begun to smoke again…

A small village of humans and Dwarves that lived under Durcheinander was the birth place of these wonderful creatures. They lived, a secluded life from the rest of the races. In all actuality they refused to choose a god or goddess. For this Durcheinander punished them. He tricked Krieger into sending massive amount of Trolls into this small village to destroy it. Calmo saw what happened, and felt sorry for the village. She decided she would come to the aid of the people by sending her Elves to protect them with magic, but it was to late. The Trolls had already done their worst.

So, rather than protect the place, she told the Elven leader to raise them from the dead and help them escape to her lands. The Elven clan had begun to cast the spell and Krieger saw what was going on. He sent his trolls back to do the job again. Halfway through the spell, the elven mages were attacked. The Elves and Trolls fought feircly as the villagers began to return to the world of life. However, In thier distraciton the elves had been unable to complete the spell and so, The people of the village were brought back, not as a mere elven/dwarven crossbreed. They had returned with the knowledge and strength of the world of spirits. They rose with the power of the Dwarves to war, the wisdom of the elves for magic, and the strength of sprit of the otherworld driving thier hand in both

The war rages on

[Dauthi]

A people at war... how many have died? We lost count after the first year. So much bloodshed after the fall. When Durcheinander closed his temple doors the world went into chaos. Ironic, it is, that without the lord of chaos among us we should be thrust into chaos even more evident than any he ever inflicted.

We have, for years uncountable, warred in the names of our gods... the blood of our friends... our enemies... our brothers... we have bathed in it. The souls of the damned fill our cups to overflowing and we rejoice in the slaughter. We have been blinded to the darkness. We no longer see it as wrong... such a pity that we kill each other... for, truly, we are no different from those we judge.

-

Emlir De’knas

Exerpt from ’Anasazi - The Fall of Balance’

The book was written hundreds of years ago. Even now it is considered heresy... now... when bloodfeuds rage and we fight for reasons we no longer remember. Why did this all start? Will it ever
end?

What is life worth when we can do naught but destroy it? You are to
decide this... through your words and deeds you will shape the world of the future. You will shape the world in which your own children shall live. You will kill and, make no mistake, you will enjoy it. You will rejoice in crushing those who oppose you just as did those who came before you.

If you do not... then you will die... as so many others have. Many legends and prophecies have come and gone over the years... not the least of which is the legend of the doors of chaos... and the prophecy that follows.

~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~
-Legend-

The temple of chaos was built by the god Durcheinander. When the first split occured he was the most effected... the closest to the first generation. The first piece of the whole to rise again. When the father fell to his death bed, durcheinander created the caverns of the world in rage. He created the dwarves to take for him the throne of light. They failed.

When at last the God of Chaos looked out upon the war... he fell silent... for he had caused this hatred... son killed father... daughter killed mother. Best friends murdered one another for recognition.

The great god of Chaos... the ’Evil’ one shed a tear.

The Dwarves saw this and wept with him, and when he crafted, with his own hands, a temple to himself... they crafted doors. Enchantments and spells were woven... damascus steel and mithril were melded to create such an alloy as has never been seen since... for even the dwarves have forgotten the ways of crafting it. When, at long last, they finished the doors were closed on the weeping god. The cavern in which the temple was hidden was taken by a dragon and since was lost. Some have said that still it lies sleeping... with a weeping god inside.

~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~

Those doors... the doors of chaos... WILL open.. and when they do... the lord of chaos will rise again. And all of his contained malevolence and hatred will was over the land in one foul wave. We will be consumed.

’And the hand of God shall sweep o’er the land
And all in it shall feel his wrath
Hide, my children
For chaos is set free’

Now is the time to anchor yourselves to fight this thing... now is the time to rise to power... for only the strongest will survive... and the weak shall break the fast of the almighty.