Created: 2008-07-17 07:22:43
Game: unity
Faith: Leto
Cardinal Chunder’s Target Versatility (CCTV)
The sounds of laughter could be heard a long way from the tavern. The barkeeper wasn’t sure what he was to think of these guests. On the one hand they drank such copious amounts of beer, wine and liquor that they were tripling his monthly earnings in this night alone. On the other hand they were spoiled aristocrats who sang such lewd songs that the serving girls were blushing constantly. He wondered how cheeks could hold such great amounts of blood, when one of the men stood up, yelled for another round of beer and urinated out of the window. Meanwhile one of the ladies was singing a song about the length of a dwarf’s lance, which the other ladies were quick to sing along. The men around the table fell silent and whispered among each other. As the girls finished their song with the phrase
“So wield it whenever you can, and
Allow us to glaaaaaance
At the magnificence of your mighty laaaaaaaaaance”
everything was quiet again for a short while, except for the post-song giggling.
The barkeeper sighed, once again reminded himself of the large amount of money he was being paid for this evening and brought them their next round of beer. A tall man took his new mug and stood up.
“Let us sing the song Mary let us taste your melons then!”
”Again? We’ve sang that one six times already in the past three hours, Nagash!”
“What can I say, Gili? I’m exceptionally fond of Mary’s melons!”
They burst into laughter as a busty serving girl, whose name by chance was Mary, stared wide-eyed at the group and went into the kitchen.
One of the men present whom had been looking rather queasy all the time suddenly interrupted the laughter by vomiting quite loudly underneath the table. Everyone shied away from him at first, but then started dancing around him.
“MoP is Cardinal Chunder! Bring out the silly hat!”, Gili exclaimed.
“Oh shut up. Must’ve been that French cheese you fed me”, MoP answered.
But it was too late. Before MoP had a chance to wipe his mouth and take some beer to get rid of the foul taste, he was lifted up and a filthy bishop’s hat was put on his head.
“Oh, bugger.”
“Barkeep, we’ll have some bottles of your finest wine, a bucket… and a cleaning lady ofcourse!“
While MoP was still complaining that the others had cheated by giving him French cheese while they knew he was principally disgusted by everything French, Gili had a revelation, which lit up his face in awe and pleasure.
“I just had a revelation!”, he exclaimed.
“Whoa, keep your hands above the table!”, Nagash said.
“Eww!”, MoP shrieked, while grabbing the bucket.
“No, not one of those revelations! An illuminating one which will lead to many a cunning plan!”, Gili explained, shaking his head.
All were looking at him expectantly, for Gili’s plans rarely were cunning. The only one in the company who managed to come up with worse plans was Nagash, who had come up with the worst plan since the goblin warchief Ungz da Terribol ordered five thousand battle helmets with horns on the inside. Gili was not taken aback by his doubtful track record though, and spoke:
“Every night, we have a Cardinal Chunder, right? Since we’re getting together every night, we can have Cardinal Chunder set targets for us which we will then complete for following day in a most triumphant way.”
Everyone was silent, except Nagash.
“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard!”, he said.
“See, I told you it was a good idea!”, Gili reacted while bouncing up and down in his chair ecstatically.
The others could not help but agree. If Nagash thought it was a bad idea, then certainly it was a good one. Then all eyes were on MoP.
“What? What?”
“Come on with the commandment, man! Set us a target for tomorrow!”, Nagash said.
“Oh yeah. Err… we shall…err…steal gold from Ricardo the Rich so we can pay our drinking bills for another week!”
“Hooray!”
“Yippee!”
The following day Nagash woke up with his head in Gili’s lap. Gili himself was sitting spread eagled in his chair and was still snoring loudly.
“My god, what did I have to drink last night? My head feels like there’s a Frenchman living in it.”
Gili was also stirring now. When he opened his eyes, he was staring blankly at nothing in particular. When he saw the hat of Cardinal Chunder hanging from a chandelier he quickly came to life again and woke the others.
“Wake up! Wake up! We have money to steal! Cardinal Chunder hath commanded us!”
And thus it was done, but not before they had some delicious roast goblin for breakfast and Nagash had apologised to Mary the waitress, explaining that the song was not about her (in particular).
GM: Cardinal Chunder
AGM: Beer Brigadier
Squad Leader: Comatose Fairy
Full Member: Drunken Fairy
Member: Wet Behind The Rears
Newbie: Sober
New Guild. Non-standard approach to the game
The members of CCTV are not particularly strong in their support for any of the faiths, and currently serve Angelique as its convenient. However whilst in a faction, CCTV will abide and support its Faith as expected by all guilds.
Rules for Tempers Ball
1. Do not make an ass of yourself.
2. Do not post accusations of cheating.
3. Do not post bug reports.
4. Do not post kingdom numbers or names.
5. Do not post redundant messages (no spamming).
6. You must scream abuse at our enemies anytime we are hit, complaining that the weak was a downhit.
7. You must make up false accusation of scum activity to justify dodgy hits.
(okay not the last two)
Ranks
There are two effective ranks within CCTV. One being those of "Beer Brigadier" (trusted/leadership) who will decide on wars, promotions and usual guild leadership issues.
Of these leaders one is granted the honorary title of Cardinal Chunder. Cardinal Chunder is responsible for adding objectives, and keeping track of which targets have been accomplished and which are still on our ‘to do’ list. Together with the other Beer Brigadiers he or she decides which targets get priority.
Cardinal Chunder is elected by means of drunken stupor and the singing of lewd songs. The first one to vomit after drinking copious amounts of whatever alcoholic beverage is Cardinal Chunder. Not only is this person granted the title of Cardinal Chunder, but accompanying the title a silly bishop’s hat is given with the letters “CC” embroidered on it. Wearing this hat always and everywhere is mandatory.
The other rank is 'Fairies'. They will be encouraged to join in, drink as much as they can, and of course score as many objectives as possible. Fairies are also encouraged to dress up in tight leather pants or decorate themselves with random pink accessories.
Promotions will be given out to people who are involved and are likely to bring alcoholic bevarages to the GM team.
As the leadership of the guild is fluid, its extremely unlikely that all GM's will go MIA at one point. Should this occur, the world has probably come down. Remaining members should then praise the lord and seek a new home.
Anyone is free to apply to the guild. We won't be playing for honour, glory or other trivial and irrelevant goals. We merely do as Cardinal Chunder says. So if your a bit competitive you might want to find an alternate home.
GM TEAM CONTACT DETAILS
_Nagash_
MoP
Gili