Created: 2004-03-08 03:59:26
Game: unity
Faith: Barnabas
ORDER OF THE ALMIGHTY FISHINGROD
“Come in weary traveler! My name is the Story Murmurer and I will tell you about the history of the one rod. You may lay your clothes near the fire.” The old man, who, by the looks of him, seems to consist of nothing more but a long beard with arms, legs and a set of eyebrows, beckons you to come forward. After having entered this man’s house, which was apparently built by piling up dozens of dead moose, you are amazed by the fact that the interior of the house is even more puzzling than its exterior. Near the fireplace, you see a range of different types of fishing gear: rods in all colours, big fishingnets and an amazing collection of cutlery. As your eyes glide over the walls, you notice a great number of objects being suspended from the multitude of dead deer’s antlers: two big shriveled up melons, an exploded chicken, a leaking boot, a little twig bearing the tag “a cunning disguise”, a mouldy currant bun and finally a great variety of stuffed fish. “Welcome to the Moose-eum, house of history for the OAFS. Mind the rods, as they are still pointy and don’t touch the blowfish, it has an unfortunate history of its own.” Passing the stuffed fish, which the old man had pointed, and noting its odd yellowy coating, you lay down your coat near the fire and sit down. The beard on limbs starts rummaging through a nearby cupboard and, after throwing out some socks and a pair of blue underpants, finally retrieves some sort of bunny. Wiggling his eyebrows and flailing his arms about, the old man starts to chant:
A MEMORABLE MEETING WITH THE STORY MURMURER...
As I slowly dance and mope,
Reveal to us the rod’s mystery,
Show us OAFS’ history!”
With that, the rabbit-like creature’s ears started twisting. Your eyes twitch in amazement as you suddenly see an image appear on the belly of the beast. The old man, still slowly and aimlessly moving about, starts to speak:
“The history of OAFS starts in the age of the New Trinity. Leto, Barnabas and Angelique had just made their sudden disappearance from Tonan and in the befuddling brevity of faithlessness, the people soon turned tone of three prophets: Foret, Darden and Isonia. Cast your eyes on the belly-vision and you will see how the OAFS came into existence…”
BAFFLING BEGINNINGS...The expectation of catching something edible created a jubilant atmosphere amongst the titillating twosome. The daemon named Nagash started to dance, extending both his arms above his head and moving his knees frequently, while the little dwarf, who had been called Porckie, was trying to get the fish to land...
"It's coming!"Like the thingie of a god:
The Almighty Fishing Rod!
THE REMINISCENCE OF ROD RUBBERS...
As the chorus of the song resounds in your ears, you try to pull yourself away from the hare-o-scope. The Story Murmurer stops you...
"Wait, there is more..."
Your eyes are once gain drawn towards the belly of the beast and watch as the history of OAFS unfolds itself before your eyes...
The belly shows you a turnip-shaped temple. Inside the temple you immediately recognise the daemon and the dwarf. Porckie and Nagash had now been joined by other characters. Nagash, wearing some sort of feathery robes, grabbed a fishing rod from the altar and started to preach...
"Behold the rod with which the first Dardenite was slain! The One Rod, the Almighty Fishingrod! Let the ceremony of Rod-rubbing commence!"
With that, Nagash held the fishing rod in his hands and went round the room. He adressed each by name and allowed each and every one to rub the rod. As you hear the names of these heroes, you immediately recognise heroes from past songs and stories...
Toph - A mysterious Sidhe, who liked dwelling with dragons and was a master of Tophness. He was one who could make any piece of cutlery into a lethal weapon and coined such inventions as the fatal throwing fork, the sprakling spoon of spite and, not to mention, the salad-tossers of doom.
DarkWolf - Known as "Doggeh" to his frieds. Feared for his lice and flees. Sadly disappeared, leaving the OAFS itching but wolf-less.
Dauthi - Part of the initial angry mob, witness to the first slaying with the Rod. Tricky teacher of the OAFS, respected and feared, since he decided to side with the Goblins.
Mister Floppy - A flying mushroom, spawned from an unfortunate and surprisingly amorous encounter between Porckie and an enchanted fungus. A mouldy manservant, a faithful fungoid.
Herr Flick - An odd gestapo officer, irresistable to women as well as men wearing wigs.
Comte de Frou Frou - Always on the lookout for eevil revoluzionariez. Likes to exchange wigs with the Marquis and chat up old women.
The Marquis - A wig-wearing, stableboy-stuffing, swine-swaffling, French-frattering nobleman.
As you watch each and every one of these heroes bring hommage to the almighty fishing rod, the image on the bunny's belly starts to fade...
AMAZING ADVENTURES...
The image on the belly returns and blazes before your eyes with flashes of watery warfare, punful pubtalk and amazing adventures. Amongst the many images flashing before you, only the most memorable engrave themselves in your memory.
The Quest for the Holy Quail! (Part 2) The unfortunate dwarf Porckie looses his eternal potency, which can only be retrieved by kissing the holy Quail, which resides in Cauliflornia. The OAFS team up and start the Quest for the Holy Quai. As their adventures unfold, they are hindered by exploding chickens, legless beggars, burning ostriches, Murlin the wizard in a trashcan and not to mention the infamous in-can-balls...
Mellons! A daring move in terms of warfare. In a war against LOFT, Porckie manages to kidnap Isa's melons and demands that Isa recognises the vegetability of these pieces of fruit.
Exploding cucumbers Another ballsy move during wartime. At the end of an age, OAFS decides to take on the lead guild and manages to topple the king, twice.
Nightmare on Elfstreet A series of mysterious murders. Porckie and Herr Flick try and find out what happens to the poor Elves, falling victim to seemingly racist murders.
Wounds of War Hospital The only guild ever to own a hospital, the members of OAFS come to the Wounds of War Hospital with blodged blatters, stuffed stomachs and one bruised breast. Also, there is a cereal killer on the loose.
Adventures in the Aroused Anglers' Alehouse You see Porckie dress up as an albatross in an attempt to scare Nagash by pretending to be the ghost of his grandmother. Methusalai, Nagash's actual grandmother, helps her grandson out and throws herself at the unsuspecting Toph. A plumber named Joe joins the scene and sings a song called "Poo in the loo".
A RELIC REMOVED...
Suddenly the images from the beast's belly grow dark. Disturbing images flow before your eyes and you see the beloved rod being stolen by three Goblins. A relic removed...
"With the One Rod lost, OAFS soon disbanded. Porckie disappeared, Nagash was forced to wander from guild to guild, living on spam alone..."
You hear the sad tone in the voice of the Story Murmurer as he recounts the story of OAFS's passing. Suddenly, however, you notice a sprakling in his eyes...
A ROD RETURNED?
"But tidings have changed! In this age, the old Gods have returned! Barnabas, Leto and Angelique now fight to gain the Heavenly thrown. Porckie found its way back to Tonan and joined up with his old friend Nagash to fight under the banner of Barnabas. Rumour has it that the rod might be returned!"
The old bearded man throws away the little rabbit and stops his enchanting dance. He points his crooked finger at you and asks...
"It is now time to make up your mind, weary traveler. Will you help the OAFS and restore the Almighty Fishingrod to its rightful place?"
Wiggling his eyebrows meaningfully, the Story Murmurer awaits your answer...
GM: Reverent of the Rod
AGM: Grandmaster of Tophness
Squad Leader: Rod Lickstress
Full Member: Rod Steward
Member: Follower of the Rod
Newbie: Fisherman´s Apprentice
Returned for the roleplay
OAFS - OUR MISSION
We are a fun-loving guild, with a main focus on roleplay. Since a few years, Canon has been devoid of any serious (or silly) roleplay. Within two weeks of the return of OAFS, already two active roleplay-threads were set up, featuring creative storylines and remarkable characters. And there is more to follow...
Our mission is to return roleplay to Canon, if you join we will try to make you post, in character, in our threads.
OAFS - COMMAND STRUCTURE
1. GM ~ Rod Rodent ~ the chieftains of the guild. They are to be obeyed
2. AGM ~ Turnip Tyrant ~ the trusted advisors, and soon to be Rod Nibbler
3. ~ Cucumber Colonel ~ Trusted members, or people with a talent for worshipping the Phallic
4. ~ Rod Steward ~ Competent new members
5. ~ Maggot Mortis ~ Now no longer Bait, but a deadly maggot!!
6 ~ Bait ~ entry rank, yet to prove competence
Dress code:
Yellow jack-boots, a blue raincoat and a silly hat.
Promotion rules:
In order to be promoted, we expect to see you posting regularly in roleplaythreads, as well as participating actively in the game. Failing to do either will lead to demotion and subsequent kicking from the guild.
Knob-gags and references to fishingrods will increase your chances at promotion
What happens if the GMs should disappear:
Should the GMs (Nagash & Porckie), for some reason, decide to disappear, the guild OAFS will be disbanded. Unless suitable replacements can be found under the AGMs.
OAFS - ROLEPLAY RULES
Frankly, we don't care what you do, aslong as you do some roleplaying. Even if this is just a 4 line post of your character drinking some ale. Try to post at least 2 roleplay-posts every week.
Obviously, the following Temper's Ball and Unity Forum rules apply:
TB Rules:
1. Do not make an ass of yourself
2. Do not post bug reports on the baords, over ICQ, or in IRC, unless specifically asked to by staff.
3. Do not spam or post redundant messages.
4. Do not post kingdom numbers or kingdom names on the boards.
5. Pornography, piracy, or other illegal material is not allowed.
6. Do not post links or advertizements to hate or anti-Evernight sites. This includes racial, ethical, or sexually related sites.
7. Do not post accusations of cheating on the boards.
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Unity Forum Rules:
1. Do not claim that threads are closed to the general public. As long as people are adding to the thread and not spamming or stalking then everyone is welcome in every thread.
2. No excessive vulgarity. As long as its part of the general post its acceptable, but when your swearing just to swear it will be edited.
3. No revealing Voice alts.
4. No Shadow Guilds.
A shadow guild is defined as - More than four players not in an approved guild working together in a coordinated way or being allied together, or any unguilded kingdom working with an approved guild in any way. This includes kingdoms which are being played by a player, whos other kingdom is in said guild.
5. Do not do anything that you or the Voice's think is unwarranted or in bad taste.
a.) No whining about Unguilded Kingdoms.
6. If you feel that Admin intervention is required, follow the correct procedure. This means using the contact us form, rather than posting a thread, sending a PM or messaging over ICQ.
OAFS - CONTACTS
Contact either Nagash or Porckie by PM-ing them on Temper's Ball.