Evernight Guild Archive

Guild Name:

DO FIXER (Do FIXER)

Created: 2005-10-17 15:47:58
Game: guild
Faith:

Charter

The "Sinister Six...plus assorted late comers" Interview.
-Written by Jeffrey Gaborn Boyd.

Recently I had the chance to interview all of the people involved in the formation of the newest supergroup in Valid; Do FIXER. Dyvim Tvar, Stryfe, Blackheart, Gili, Kwaiq, Mykayla and Ike are all pretty well known around the scene as individuals, but in Do FIXER they are trying something entirely new to all of them. In this interview we discuss their vision, how they handle their differences, their relation to other guilds, and more.

Gaborn: OK, I'm here with the partners in Leto's newest guild Do FIXER. Let's start with the basics, what made you guys decide to start your own guild?

Dyvim Tvar: What, we're doing the basics again? Didn't I already do this when I created Progeny way back when?

Gaborn: Yes, chances are most people didn't read the first interview you did, or have just forgotten it.

Dyvim Tvar: Well fine. This time I'll say the chicks. I did it for the chicks.

Gaborn: Do you get many chicks as a GM?

Dyvim Tvar: Well, maybe your average GM doesn't, but when you look like me you do. [he points to Mykayla and laughs] Case in point, why else do you think she signed up?

Mykayla: You're a complete idiot!

Dyvim Tvar: She wants it!

Blackheart: Here's the deal. Gili and Kwaiq have wanted to start a guild for a while. Dyvim has been doing the whole guild thing for like 8 millenia with only marginal success and they decided to combine forces. So they enlisted some friends, Myself, Mykayla, Stryfe and Ike, to help out, and here we are.

Ike: Much like Blackheart said, it all started with Stryfe, Kwaiq and Dyvim. Oddly enough the two had their idea at pretty much the same time as Dyvim was about to pack in his failed attempt at getting recognition as anything but Venus' coat-tail rider and turn to warehouse work to make ends meet but then he heard about their schemes, approached them and they banded together instead. So Do FIXER is more or less a combination of their ideas with my stunning good looks and superior wit.

Kwaiq: Well, Gili told me about Dyvim's already established guild dream and asked if I wanted to chip in and help keep it alive. I said sure, why the hell not, what else am I going to do? So I tucked my three kids and wife into bed and started drawing up plans.

Kwaiq: I really don't have kids or a wife!

Stryfe: I was just sitting around my pad one day, pondering what to spend my money on aside from hookers and opiates, so I thought why not throw money into a guild.

Gili: Kwaiq and I were thinking of starting up our own guild with a few friends of ours but Dyvim convinced us to set our eyes on a bigger prize. He has some good connections and made the idea of world domination seem really plausible. So we decided to back him on it and enlisted Ike, Mykayla, Stryfe and Blackheart to help. Dyvim Tvar: First of all, am I the only one whose noticed what Stryfe is doing? I mean has anybody else noticed the fact he's wearing a damned suit?

Ike: So what?

Dyvim Tvar: Obviously Stryfe knows our interviewer bats for the other side and he's come out in his best macking outfit!

Stryfe: Shut the fuck up Dyvim, that's so not true!

Dyvim Tvar: Then why, pray tell, are you sat next to him when the rest of us are five feet across in a semi circle?

Stryfe: ...:/

Dyvim Tvar: Get his number later, for now take your paw off his lap and get your fuzzy ass over here so we can do this interview properly!

Dyvim Tvar: Anyway, back to the questions. Basically I talked to Gili many ages ago about doing rejuvinating my evil organisation, with a host of reconisable names from the scene at the time. I knew it would cost alot and just didn't have enough money. It's hard running an evil organisation solo, you know. So time passed after I talked to Gili about things and eventually I figured it was time to throw the towel in, I just wasn't making enough money anymore and was feeling a little burnt out. Then one day, out of the blue, Gili got in touch with me and said we should start our own guild. At first we were going to just bring Dark Progeny back. Then we figured we should start something new, that and Angies are the worst, so there is no use in helping them. That's basically how everything started. As far as my reason for starting a guild over joining an existing one. I really don't like the way alot of stuff here in Leto is run. Some of the guilds are good, but overall I think alot of things could be better. Also, there's no personality in the faith right now, so I'm looking to change that!

Gaborn: With the seven of you running a guild together, there is bound to be times when differences of opinions come up. do you all have equal say in what goes on, or is there a chain of command so to speak?

Blackheart: Well, until the first real situation comes up, we can't say for sure. Being guild masters is a tremendous pressure. We have already faced challenges like recruitment and rank allocation and even faith selection without any friction, but who can say for sure what will happen in the future?

Dyvim Tvar: Clearly I am the smartest person of the six, so I run everything. Everyday I make Kwaiq squeeze me fresh orange juice. Gili gets my coffee. Mykayla does my laundry. As for the other three, well, they are my team, so we're all equal. Seriously though that's not true, Mykayla is terrible at laundry, she always mixes whites and colours. I swear to God, all my white valentine shirts look like metrosexual wear now! Honestly though, we're all friends, and we have been in the scene together now for a long time. I don't think there will be any problems. some people are in charge of certain things to make the guild the best we can. Some people are good at recruitment. Some people are good at strategising. We all know who the best leader is out of the six. We all have ideas we give each other, and hopefully there won't be problems in the future. If there is, I will quit, just like Dirk Diggler did. I'm the biggest fucking star here man. I know karate. You want to see me kick some ass? no, I didn't think so!

Ike: I guess you could call it a chain of command, but it's more like each of us have specific duties for the guild. If there is a dispute with one person's area, we bring it up to the others and it's settled together.

Gaborn: You say you have specific duties, are you able to share what those are?

Ike: Stryfe equals strategy, war planning and male prostitution. Stryfe: :0 You bastard!!

Dyvim Tvar: This is true. We all have our roles. We try to go with what each of us strong at. For instance, Ike and I are the funniest men alive on this planet, so therefore we are doing a combination of diplomacy and recruitment.

Ike: Like Dyvim said, he and I are working on stuff for bolstering our public image, but it's really more of a collaboration with everyone. The others will come to us with ideas, and we're in charge of fleshing it out.

Gili: But, in the end, an idea has to be agreed on by all of us.

Gaborn: Dyvim, you stated you wanted to increase the amount of hype about Leto. How do you intend to accomplish that?

Dyvim Tvar: Jeffrey, if question asking ability were directly related to wealth you would be in the poor-house, my friend. I've assembled five incredibly funny, charming and handsome men plus Stryfe, and we have the token drunk hottie. Don't you think that's enough to raise the profile of the faith beyond anything it has ever been in the past?

Gaborn: Okay, but with that don't you think the existing guilds will be somewhat resentful of you coming in and trying to "take over" the image of the faith?

Gili: Don't get us wrong. we do plan to be new and exciting but we aren't here to challenge any other groups, become faith leaders or any of that other nonsense. We just want to be a cog in the machine, help out as best we can to raise the status of the faith and maybe even promote our own nefarious schemes on the side, to be honest!

Stryfe: We come in peace!

Dyvim Tvar: Fuck that, we come to destroy everybody!

68guy: Yeah, it really can't be stressed enough that we don't intend to come in and take over from anybody else. We have received alot of support in setting up and because of that we see Leto as a family!

Dyvim Tvar: Yeah, Leto is like a family, and I'm Tony Soprano. You just remember, I'm the one who calls the fucking shots!

Gaborn: You mentioned support you've received, has there been anyone who has been less than supportive?

Ike: Well Dyvim has been pretty damn unhelpful, but that's to be expected. Besides that everybody has been really cool and understanding, considering the fact that we have Dyvim onboard, obviously.

Gaborn: Well, given that you are now the largest single collection of stars in any one place, do you find that you get alot of lesser people coming around trying to get recruited because they're your friends?

Dyvim Tvar: Not at all, but then again I don't actually have any friends. I hate everybody!

Ike: That's true. Dyvim has nothing at all to be angry about, yet he's the surliest man I've ever met!

Gili: But he's a star in -our- hearts!

Ike: No, he isn't!

Blackheart: Actually, I get that problem alot. But then I just tell them that all applicants have to go through Dyvim because he needs to okay them, and nobody seems to like talking to Dyvim. [laughs] Get's me off the hook everytime since I don't like refusing people!

Kwaiq: I'm just in charge of skits. No recruitment for me! I'm funny, that's all.

Dyvim Tvar: I'd just like to state something real quick. Kwaiq is the most unfunny person I know.

Stryfe: You obviously haven't seen him dance him then.

Gaborn: Blackheart, you only recently returned to prominence in the scene and word has it that your absence was largely due to personal issues, would you say that you're over that hurdle in your life now?

Blackheart: Gee, thanks for bringing that trauma back up. I was worried for a second that I wouldn't have to remember it again...idiot. However yes, I am. Mostly due to the support I received from my friends in this group and now, with them behind me I feel stronger than ever and am very thankful to everybody for being so understanding and I look forward to living out my dreams now.

Dyvim Tvar: Do those dreams include informing the public of your giant, mandingo-esque cock, BH?

Blackheart: In a word Dyvim...YES.

Dyvim Tvar: Mothers, hide your sons and daughters! BH IS ON THE PROWL!

Mykayla: You're both incredibly disturbed!

Both: She wants it!

Gaborn: Okay...Stryfe, some people seem to regard you as the least charismatic of this six. In fact I've even heard you reffered to as "boring". What are your thoughts on that?

Stryfe: ZOMG! Boring? Who the hell said that? I'm looking at you Dyvim! Look, I was taught how to roll by Steven and he always told me that it was just important to have your plans and schemes -mean- something. He said to me "Do you want to be flashy and showy but never deliver on it, or do you want to be old school and get results?". So frankly, I don't much care what people think of the understated way I go about my business because the teaching of Steven always stick with me and-

Dyvim Tvar: Stryfe, shut up! I mean, I like Steven as much as the next guy but he has enough people swinging off his shit by now, he doesn't need you doing it aswell! Folks, Stryfe was just fired from Do FIXER, twice!

Stryfe: :/! I hope you get SARS and die!

Gaborn: Some people would probably wonder just why somebody like Portia would join this group, do you have an answer for them?

Portia: Well-

Dyvim Tvar: Let me field this one.
You see we had intended to get Venus but unfortunately during one of her many drunken benders through Georgia she got turned around and somehow wound up in Angelique with WeeC 2, the sequal to WeeC, also subtitled "Even WeeCer than before". And as you know, we don't roll that way so we decided to abandon her to a fate worse than death and get on with our lives-

Ike: Actually we wanted to save her, but unfortunately we oculdn't afford the road trip since we spent all our budget on Dyvim's hair care!

Dyvim Tvar: Hey, my hair is an intricate part of the guild!

Ike: Fair enough, but do you really need 15 people to take care of your hair?

Dyvim Tvar: At least! 2 for fringe; 3 for side and back; 1 for height; 1 for width; 2 for circumfrance-

Ike: Circumfrance?

Dyvim Tvar: Yes, hair circumfrance. There's alot to think about with hair. If my barnet isn't absolutely perfect then the people will be FURIOUS with us and-

Portia: [jumping up and down waving her arms] ME! ME! WHAT ABOUT ME?!? PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!

Dyvim Tvar: Oh yes, so as I was saying. Once we realised we couldn't get Venus we decided to just move on. However that left a gulf in our roster for an "attention starved, internet dork magnet of a lush", thankfully we managed to trick Portia into signing a lifetime contract with us...she thought she was signing up for a life time supply of Cosmos and a "rendevous" with Johnny Depp...sucker!

Gaborn: Uhm, okay I think that about covers everything. thanks for answering the questions guys and good luck with the guild!

Stryfe: So, can I get your number then?

Gaborn: This is still on the record!

Stryfe: ...shit!

Ranks

GM: Personal Jesus
AGM: Devil Inside
Squad Leader: Complicated Girl
Full Member: Friends Electric
Member: Caligula Syndrome
Newbie: Prince Charming

History

What with the what now?

Rules

RULES OF MEMBERSHIP:

1.First and foremost you must follow ALL rules of Temperís Ball. These are as follows,

a. Do not make an ass of yourself
b. Do not post bug reports on the baords, over ICQ, or in IRC, unless specifically asked to by staff.
c. Do not spam or post redundant messages.
d. Do not post kingdom numbers or kingdom names on the boards.
e. Pornography, piracy, or other illegal material is not allowed.
f. Do not post links or advertizements to hate or anti-Evernight sites. This includes racial, ethical, or sexually related sites.

2. Follow the chain of command at all times.

Failure to follow these rules will result in first a warning and then dismissal from the guild.

GUILD RANKS:

Personal Jesus - This is the GM of the guild, they oversee the day to day running of the guild. should they dissapear or otherwise be unable to fulfill their obligations for an extended period of time then one of the AGM's will step up and take control of the guild until they can return.

Devil Inside - This is the AGM rank, they work alongside the GM to complete the leadership of the guild, each one having their own area of responsibilty (apart from Connor, he just runs pop-up advertising and image consulting because all the real jobs were taken)

Complicated Girl - This is the rank of either the diplomat or just any women, whichever causes me less trouble and earache in the long term.

Friends Electric - This is the trusted member rank. There isn't much difference between this and full member but I do have 6 ranks to fill so I had to come up with something.

Caligula Syndrome - This is the full member rank. After probationary period most members will be automatically promoted to this rank and given the privelidges that they require.

Prince Charming - This is the entry rank. New members of teh guild without a sponsor will be placed into this rank for a probationary period. once this period is up their performance will be reviewed and they will be granted full status or removed from the guild as appropriate.

Ganing rank within the guild is simply a case of remaining active in the game and on the boards and following orders to the best of your ability. The GM will regularly reveiw each members performance and decide upon promotions from there.
Be aware that requesting a promotion will see you locked in a small room with Stryfe, a small room that has no windows and only one locked door...that or you'll be booted; You pay your money, you take your chances.

GAINING MEMBERSHIP:

To gain membership you really just need to know how to click that "join" button near the guild's name. I like to think that having this requirement should see us avoid anybody who has less intelligence than your average garden gnome, while still leaving us open to run the gauntlet of all other kinds of stupid from entertaining to outright painful. Of course it could also see us get some real gems...one can but hope!

CONTACT INFO:

The GM (you can just call me your own Personal Jesus though) can be reached at the following places for all things guild, pepsi and edible foodstuff related:
ICQ: 35013520
email: dyvimmy1982@yahoo.co.uk