Random Inspiration (Closed)

[Katalyna]

Inspired by Staind's "It's Been Awhile" - WIP. Dunno if I'll ever finish it. Just something that jumped outta my head.

****

For what wasn't the first time, he wondered how she was doing... it had been such a long time since he had seen her. The last thing he had heard from their mutual friends was that she wasn't the same - cold, a haunted look in her eyes - she seemed dead, they would reply.

Nothing would touch her, none of her old emotional spirit, none of the fire that she had used to possess. One friend had even gone as far to say that her spark had left her since he had cast her from his life.

Turning over and punching his pillow, he noticed the cat flicker his tail in annoyance. The cat... that only served as one more reminder of her. That cat had always been his - until she exploded into their life. Since that day, the cat had been completely hers, even taking to sleeping with her whenever she would lay in bed. Now, the cat would lay on her side of the bed with his back turned to his former master, tail twitching in irritation that its beloved mistress was now gone.

"You know why I did it, don't you?" he asked the animal, who merely twitched his tail again in annoyance. Sighing, he closed his eyes.

What was she doing now? He wondered idly. He had heard that she returned to her job, still excelling in the profession she had chosen - but there wasn't much other than that. Her warm softness that had drawn people to her had long since been replaced by a callous cruelness, one that many people were oft times put off by. He wondered how just one person could cause such an abrupt change in another.

"She wasn't fitting in with my plans..." he murmured, sleep slowly beginning to take over him. He frowned, remembering the reasons he had chosen to let her go. There had been no room for her in his life... was there?

She was better off without him, anyways. He was sure of it, regardless of the supposed changes that had been brought out in her.

Sleep slowly took over him, his breathing becoming more and more regular as his thoughts slowly turned into dreams... focusing solely on her.

****

She stared out the window, her eyes dead and cold. "Did you hear what I was saying?" one of her annoying co-workers rambled on. And on and on.

"Yes, I heard you." She replied automatically, not letting on that she hadn't heard, and that she really didn't care about the latest numbers on the latest project.

"So anyway, I was talking to Bob, and he was telling me that if we continue on the way we have been, that we'll be number one in the district again. Wouldn't that be nice? And with the way you work, there's no doubt in my mind that..."

The words slowly began to fade away again as she pressed a forehead to the cool glass, taking in the soft chill of the air outside via the window. "I know." She replied. Number one in the district, number one in the state... number one overall. She was the new standard that everyone measured themselves by, but yet... her life was dull.

Turning away from the window, she made her way to the coffee pot and poured herself a cup of coffee, inhaling the sweet aroma. Raising the cup to her lips, she swallowed that first bitter sip, her eyes once more alighting on her co-worker.

"Bob also thinks that you might even beat Steven this year when it comes to forecasted sales. And no one has -ever- beat Steven. Cheryl came close that one year, but ever since, she's been steady." The annoying co-worker continued, rambling on about this that and the other.

"Yeah. It would be nice, I suppose." She faked a smile, trying to show how happy she was at the thought of finally being the top dog in their company... but she really didn't care.

Without him - none of this mattered anyways. If it weren't for the fact that working was a necessity, she'd be curled up in bed with her cats and a strong cup of tea, staring off into space.

"So anyways, I was thinking that maybe you'd like to go out with me this weekend? My boyfriend and I are going to that new club that just opened downtown, and he's bringing a friend. This guy is totally hot... I think he might be your type."

...There it was.

"No, I don't think so. I've got things to do this weekend." The automatic reply came to her lips, rejecting the offer immediately.

"When are you going to start dating again? It's been long enough..."

"When I feel that a date might actually be worth it." Came the frosty reply. Turning to the Annoying Co-worker, she attempted another one of her sad smiles. "It's not worth it right now."

"You can't be in mourning forever you know! Obviously, he didn't know what he was losing out on..."

He did. That was the problem. Shaking her head, she just smiled once more.

"I'd rather not talk about this right now. C'mon, we have clients to greet." She set the cup of coffee down and picked up her breifcase full of files. Brushing past her co-worker, she felt a pang of sadness at the thought of him. Somedays, it was so hard to remember what he even looked like, even though she had a picture of the two of them on her bedside table. She had never found the strength to hide it or put it away... he looked incredible in the picture, his eyes lit up and his smile wide.

He always claimed the picture was a horrid one, but she knew better - as did everyone who had seen it.

Pushing those thoughts from her head, she braced herself for the rat race that she faced daily. It was time to focus on work, and not failed relationships... and certainly not him.