An Admission of my fuck-ups.... (open for comment)

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An Admission of my fuck-ups.... (open for comment)

Postby ManMadeMonster » Mon Aug 01, 2005 1:34 am

In the last twenty years of my life, I have hurt and wronged more individuals than one could ever deem possible. I used to blame others for my mishaps and failures, and now have come to terms with all of it. Everything that has happened to me was my fault, I just kept running away from the guilt. And now it has caught up with me, I have nothing anymore. I made so many bad decisions, didn't take the advice of the people who cared about me, and now I am seriously in regret of that. But unfortunately, I can't go in the past and make things right, so this is to offer an apology to those not just here but everywhere my apology. I have tried in so many ways to calm those who I hurt, by throwing around the idea of suicide. As morbid as that sounds, it used to sound like the only solution to all of this. Just recently I stumbled across an epiphany, in which I saw the proverbial light, and maybe I can at least try and keep trying to make amends to those who I have severely hurt. I mean sometimes you think, that there is no end to it, the broken hearts, the judgement of your past, and the loss of dear friends. Take this for whatever you think it is, but in retrospect I look at the aftermath I left and break down. Something I never normally do, I for at least half of my existence have been emotionless. It hurts to feel, I have realized, thats why it is was always easier not to. I leave on this, I am so sorry for all that I have done.



- Joshua Matthew Griffin
When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow.

Chaos and order are not enemies, only opposites.

;>
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Re: An Admission of my fuck-ups.... (open for comment)

Postby Spiehlur » Fri Sep 09, 2005 1:20 pm

ManMadeMonster wrote:In the last twenty years of my life, I have hurt and wronged more individuals than one could ever deem possible. I used to blame others for my mishaps and failures, and now have come to terms with all of it. Everything that has happened to me was my fault, I just kept running away from the guilt. And now it has caught up with me, I have nothing anymore.


Joshua,

I've been there mate. Still am. At some point may you realize that what you've just gone through, is called *LIFE*. No, this isn't trying to take away from what you feel. But when I look back and realize all the people I've hurt and mistakes I've made, it is sometimes a hard weight to bear.

Penance comes in only one form: Do better. From here on out. Do better, thats the best apology you can make to those you've wronged. I've seen it happen, when people make themselves better, those who were wronged initially have a tendency to truly and whole-heartedly forgive. The first step, is figuring out what you were before, and not being that anymore. Pretty simple eh?

Yeah right.

Good luck Joshua, and just remember when you look at whatever method of self-destruction seems good. Do you want to leave with the damage you've done, or stick around and do what you can to repair it?
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