2 and a half years later.......And a country away.

[Murdock Pryor]

It's been a long time since I've known her. She will be reading this probably before anyone else. You've probably seen her here on the boards she's been around posting alot lately. She came back because I wanted her to come back here to join me and make my time here in Tempers Ball and in the game much more pleasant and fun. And what I'm about to write is a thank you of a different sort. Think of this as a letter to a love that is a country away that I miss dearly every day.

Other people have done this so I think I will as well. I wanna give my gf this letter so to say to her publicly and whoever reads it can read it. But Only she needs to read it that's the most important thing.

My name is Joel Billingsley and this letter is to my gf of 2 and a half years. That lives across Canada from me, her name is Lea-Catherine.

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To you I know I owe alot. You've created a happiness in my life that no one could create not even god himself. It was on february 28th of 2002 at 7:58EST that I approached you as a friend. I knew you had someone interested in you and was maybe your boyfriend. I came on ICQ that day with a mission and that was to get what I needed and what I beleived was mine. I came for you and even with a barracade of a possible boyfriend in my way. I confessed to you that I loved you and had for a year but had always been afraid to tell you the truth due to our distance from each other. You seemed shocked and that scared me alot that day. But you made it all better 6 minutes later when you told me you would go out with me. It wasn't immediately that we went out, but it was immediately then that I told you, "I love you". You never said anything I thought you had left. But I froze you in time so I've been told 2 years later. You returned telling me that you loved me as well. At that moment their was something that clicked and I felt happy. From that day I've been happy and felt confident with myself as long as I had you. You seemed to be feeling the same your life turned around.

One year later we finally met. In Decemeber you remember the date, and the time as well as I do. I remember getting off that plane in the terminal and going into the bathroom and puking because I was afraid I'd be a dissappointment to you and you wouldn't like me. And you felt the same that day that is why you were hiding behind your mother when you picked me up. I walked out your mom spotted me and I spotted her, but you were nowhere to be found. I thought you ran away and didn't wanna meet me yet. Then you stood up and I felt my legs shaking because I looked and you and fell instantly in love all over again with you. We walked to each other and hugged I think we were both shaking like hell that day. It was funny now that I look back. But we went and got my bags together standing beside each other we talked and I said I love you, you blushed and didn't say anything back. We got my bag and were walking out and I made the most courageous thing I had done in my life at that time, and reached out and took your hand in mine. You were sweating and I could feel it and it was freezing out but still you were sweating. We got to the car and we sat together in the back seat and we didn't hold hands. I tried breaking the ice the whole way backto your house by cracking car jokes. But it didn't seem anything worked. We got back to your house I was afraid your dad would kill me, but I was welcome with open arms, quiet open arms but open they were. You were shy, we took my bags to your room and put them down we went downstairs and that's when I needed to break the ice. I forced you into the kiss and tricked you but I think it was for the best. I had one more thing up my sleave and that was a bracelet, that I knew you would reject but I knew I had to find a way. So when we kissed again I forced it onto your wrist and you smiled and said nothing. Breaking the ice had been done and the trip from there got more and more romantic. We went out on a date, and ontop of that we took our love to new heights. Heights that were the max.

Over the next year we went through alot of bumps and fights. Suicide was there, we dealt and we fixed it. Our happiness and love overcame all of that. I have to thank you for saving my life. I always looked at you as my hero and like a angel. Alot has happened since those days but you still are my angel. we went through my tough times in high school. My loss of my best friend as he was killed. You were there for me like you always promised. I don't think I ever got to thank you for all of the love you showed me during those times. I owe you a world of gratitiude and love. I lost many things since I've been a part of your life, but I don't think any of them could add up to the loss you felt just this year.

Your father was ill, and I think we all knew inside this would be my last time seeing him, and our last christmas to spend with him. And it was in the long run. I was there for you and him, he asked things of me that I think I can hold on to for him. Those are things that I discussed with him and it shall stay there all I know is that even today I still hold his promise. For christmas I got you a cute tiger kitten. Binks, the Binksinator, Binksy, whatever you want to call him, but he was ours. We had a few scares with him, and at teh same time with your mother's that she bought at the same time. They were our kittens and just like us they fell in love(Or so we think). We only had one bad day during that holiday the one day that I saw your father in need of someone, and i feel that I did what I could to help him. He was having troubles breathing and I went out in the cold and got asthma and cleaned up the driveway, it wasn't easy for someone that has asthma when in moisture and working hard. But I feel that I did what I could, the ambulance came and got your father. I went to find you and you were locked in the bathroom downstairs with the kittens. You were scared you told me and didn't wanna see it. We spent that night up all night long until you father got home and everything came into reality that he was sick. I remember telling you to cherish the time you had with him, and you did. You made him happy through his hardest days of his life, and to be the last. He would is proud of you and so am I, for the things you did for him out of your heart. They were annoying sometimes but still you pulled through for daddy. As we both moved on later and later in the months he got sicker and sicker. You called me one day and said he was in the hospital now, you told me he'd last a month or so, but when you told me what room he was in I knew it wouldn't last that long. He died the day after, on June 8th. On that day you phoned me at work when it had happened you were terrified that he was in the hospital, I was shattered and so were you and your family. He had fallen into a coma. I took along day at work to think about reality, I cried while I cut fairways all alone. I ate lunch alone outside. I didn't speak to anyone all I knew is that when I got home I knew I'd get a call, and it was the call I'd been afraid of for months. He had passed away you told me, and the funeral was for June 13th, I was going to be there, I booked work off. You kept telling me how you felt, I was proud of you for coming to me and being able to let it all out. I tried my best to comfort you. I worked out a way to get $1,200 to make the funeral to fly there. When I got there you and your mother were so happy to see me. But in a way I was terrified to see you two, because the reality I was about to face. We got home and it was quiet the kittens were their they weren't so small anymore and didn't remember me, but quickly made friends with me again. I missed you father as you did. I went to the funeral and saw everyone in pain I tried to stand strong for you as long as I could. I last a hour and a half until in the church the violins started and I was done. I broke out as did alot of people. I stayed as strong for you as possible, but when we reached the cemetary before I put that flower in I remember a poem I had written to you. I read it to him. The first poem I ever wrote to you. And I told him our promise again and I heard him say, "Don't lose that promise, you know she's my baby. And she is a gift from heaven for you". Your father's word are still with me, and to this day I've always been so proud of you for handling that day as well as you could. Walking into the church you wanted to be with your mother and I udnerstood. But when we walked out I think you realized I was here for you and your mother I took your hand and wipped your tears from yours eyes. Your mother walked in front of us, I wish I could have grabbed her to. I felt like now I was the man of the family, and I needed to do what I could to take care of both of you. I tried to do my best by making promise's and bringing my heart out to you and your mother. You all accepted it even your family members that barely knew me. I feel like I'm part of your family and I haven't even married you.....yet!

I can't explain my love for you but I want you to remember I spent these times with you and during every minute from the day we met our love has grown and flourished into a beautiful rose. And here's a poem about a rose, that reminds me of you.

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A Purple Rose and Panther

A rose buried inside of the woods.
The flowers not showing through their hoods.
The tress sheltering the flowers from harm.
The purple rose is a love charm.

Looking into you I see that purple rose,
I see that prowl and love that I chose.
You looked and hunt for that one special thing,
That extravagant smell and love that does bring.

The stem like wire standing strong and tall,
The color purple that screams out a call.
You will have that rose it will make you proud,
I was the one who took that flower plucking it from the ground.

Approaching you with great desire,
You take my heart even higher.
The rose that exposes the love,
The love of the one girl acting like a dove.

The pounce of love from you,
The hunt of that love that is true.
The prey of a man that is better then ever..
The human that you will take to yourself forever.

A Panther of Love and The Purple Rose.
And on that lovely day I will hear those powerful vows.
You are the one and the only,
For I have fallen in love with you so slowly.

You are the predator and the precious,
Panther of Love And the Purple Rose.
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I want you and the world, and everyone here in Tempers ball to know how much I appreciate and respect you. I want you to know that I love you, and that I want to spend forever and more with you. You are the one for me. And I Love you Lea-Catherine. Je'taime Lea-Catherine.

Love,
Joel

[Lenne]

Wow, I did -not- expect that.

Thanks. I love you, Joel.

[Murdock Pryor]

To add to above, I wanted to add it into it but I didn't have the time because I was trying to finish before Lenne wanted to call me then I'd get cut off in the middle, so now I will finish.

When I was at your father funeral I saw the pain you felt, your mother was on one side crying, and you on the other crying as well. I kept thinking in my head, "What can I do for them?". The best thing I could think of was to put my hand on yours and do what I could do show I cared. When I held your hand you looked at me and told me that you loved me. That made everything feel so much better. I didn't know what to do for your mom, I wanted to reach over and put a hand on her back to comfort her. But I didn't think it'd be right, afterwards I mentioned it and she would have liked it but didn't hold it against me for not doing it. But when you were crying I kept wiping the tears away the best I could. You smiled at me when I was there, it made me feel loved, and also it showed me that you really appreciated me caring for you. When we walked out of the church we had to wait and the bells began ringing, they sent chills through me. But I tried to stand strong for you, I kept looking up at them and it hurt me inside to hear it. Everytime that bell struck my heart stopped.

We rode in the limo and held hands you mom and your father's sister were on the other side talking and I just looked at you and tried to make conversation to make you feel good.

But the point is that you appreciate me, and you care about the way I feel as well. Just hearing your words and being near you made me feel good. I really appreciate you and love you for who you are and for who you make me. I really do care for you and I want you to know that. Thank you for being here for me, it feels good to know someone loves me and cares me the way you do.