Personal Narrative Prose on Painful Real-Life Happenings...

[Rahlan]

All right...There has been so much CRAP going on in my life. Deception...oh god. I could just scream!

So if anyone feels this way or any other crappy way, this is where you can write some personal narrative stuff. Not neccessarily poetry...but just like a story. Just write. No permission granted. Everyone needs to get stuff off of their chest. Make up fake names, or real, we'll never know, or make it in a fantasy setting if you feel. Whatever. And people can comment on these as well. You can add more to it...make it go on like a story we want to hear more on.

Vent! And have fun writing!

My story will be about everyone that I loved, suddenly wanting me out of their life...over paranoia, working themselves up over nothing, and lies!!!!! This includes me basically losing my boyfriend of 3 years because after he left the hospital from his heart surgery, his family drilled him for weeks that I was a bad person. I'll write the story later.

[Craven_Angel]

"forget about her man, she's nothin'." I barely heard the voice over the heavy rumblings of drums and the wail of guitars. Or was it simply that I was too wrapped up in memories to clearly hear anything. I turned however to look at my mate, Tom, with a brave smile after exhaling a bout of smoke from my cigarette.

"Yeah your right." I lied taking a gulp of my beer. I couldn't help glancing at the couple making out in one of the dark corners of the club. Pangs of jealousy gripped me in my stomach, despite my attempts to ignore them.

"Look. What you need mate is a bit of light tlc. A smartie'll sort you out. What do ya say?", Tom winked at me, smiling conspiratorily. I glanced at his hands noticing how they were working on crushing something with a pen.

I spotted the lone bouncer of chatting with one of the bar staff, paying no attention to us at all. "Tom. No. Shit. What if we get caught?"

"Don't be such a wimp. Come on. It'll be a first for us both, it's not as if I'm having you fly solo on this."

I stared at the crushed down amphetamine for the longest time, mulling over the pros and cons in my head. Six pints of lager were already floating about in there. Besides, any chance to forget.

It burned as I snorted it up my nose with a rolled up five-note and I felt an almost immediate rush of adrenaline, coupled with a taste in my throat that I washed away with three fingers. My first experience, and it hadn't been how I'd imagined it would be. I felt angry. Invincible and angry. But despite my first bad 'trip', I somehow knew it wouldn't be my last.

This was the beginning of the spiral.

[Rahlan]

I stood at my locker. My books were neat and few. I didn’t take many classes because I spent my afternoons with him. Many said we looked like brother and sister…others told us that we were a perfect couple. Meant to be. And yes, we believed the same. We believed over and over that we were the one for each other.

While standing at my locker door he slipped his hand into mine, but it was different this time. He had something in his hand; a ring box. I opened it up, and inside was a beautiful black hills gold ring with a silver band; a promise ring.

“What does this ring mean?” I asked.

“You see the two hearts on the ring? It means our hearts are one. It means…I’ll always be true to you. You’re my one and only,” he said, smiling. Michael always made me feel so good. We had no doubt in our minds we would someday get married.

Two years of dating…and now I had a promise ring with a reason behind it. We were young, in love. Sure maybe a little stupid, but we had things figured out. But that was then…and this is now. One year after that day there is nothing but bitterness, hatred, lies, and false hopes between us.

I want you to come back to me. Why are you listening to them? They haven’t been with you like I have. You Mom would’ve had you for dead if it wasn’t for me telling you to go to the doctor. You had your heart surgery because you needed it now. You had all those chest pains, and I’m the only one that did something about it. Your mom wanted you wait…I know it, cause it costs too damn much for her, and you were almost at the age where you would’ve had to pay it for yourself.

College started, and it was a big change for us. Neither of us got over the transition well. He had an awesome roommate that enjoyed many things he liked. My roommate, however, was a chatterbox and never seemed to leave the room. As a matter of fact, I felt as if her boyfriend and everyone else on the floor were living with me as well. I couldn’t escape…except when I would see Michael. I depended on him too much I guess.

I should’ve told my roommate to please not have so many people in the room at once. To please not always have her boyfriend and her in bed together with the lights off every single time I came in the room. But I didn’t…and depended on just spending time with Michael. He was, after all, my one and only…and we loved each other very much.

I want you to come back to me. Remember how you told me you saved yourself for me? We waited two years of being together to be sure we were the ones. You and I both know we want have only one person in our beds. We chose each other. We made that choice over and over. I made love to you as often as if you were my husband, living with me. We were each other’s one and only…why did you let them get to you?

A year passed after college. I cried the whole way to his house after dropping him off. I knew something was going to go wrong. “I have a feeling we’re never going to see each other again. Every summer is like that.”

“Sure we will. You have your license now so we can do lots of stuff together. It’ll be okay.”

I smiled and said goodbye to him. And from that point on, everything changed.

A few weeks passed into the summer. “I went to the doctor. I need heart surgery this summer. I’m gonna get it soon so that I can recover before college starts.”

“Wow…you know, I know I am gonna see you tomorrow…but I’d love to come see you today. I really just want to give you a hug. This is hard to even imagine!”

“No…don’t come over. That’s okay. I’m fine.”

“All right. I’ll see you at 12:00, but I’ll call you twenty minutes before to tell you that I’m leaving. Come online tonight just in case something comes up.”

“Okay,” Michael said. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Michael use to sit there and play his video games a lot. But every once in a while, he would turn to me and say…I love you spontaneously in the middle of his game. It felt so good to me. But the “I love you”s came to an end very shortly after that conversation. Something changed all of a sudden.

I hung up the phone with confidence that we’d see each other soon. Michael’s plan was to drop his little brother off at his grandma’s, and spend some alone, (and intimate) time with me. Then we were gonna play some games and then possibly go to our friend’s house for the rest of the night.

Until then…I just slept, waiting for the next day to come. My boyfriend of three years was going to have his heart surgery earlier than planned. I could handle that, I guess. After all, we were going to get married, and I knew he was going to have it eventually. We had our ups and downs…our fights…and a few difference in opinions, but we loved each other. And we were going to see each other a lot.

So he said
So I believed.

This was only the beginning.

I have pictures with you, Michael; our prom pictures from 11th and 12th, pictures from California, pictures with Pinnochio and Gipetto at Disney World, and pictures with Shrek at Universal Studios. Why are you letting those good times go to waste?

[Rahlan]

So that morning came. I dressed up just like how he liked it. I know I'm the kind of girl that only spends 15 minutes getting ready in the morning...but not that day.

Like planned, I made the phone call before I came.

11:40.

The phone rang and no one answered.

Strange.

I was a bit concerned because someone always would answer the phone eventually. After all, he said he'd be there. Right?

12:30.

Still no one.

I finally had that feeling that he wasn't home. So I called everyone of his friends. It only took three phone calls, and I found him. Ah yes....Matthew's house.

"Michael, I thought we were meeting up. What happened?"

"Change of plans I guess..."

"Well you get back home. Our plans were first. I've been waiting around forever."

"I'll see you in a few hours."

"No, Michael. I all ready waited. I'll be there in 30 minutes. See...that means you're really late. Almost 2 hours."

"No."

"Uh, yeah. Can I talk to Matt for a minute?"

"No."

"He's my friend too. I have a right to talk to him."

"No you don't." Click.

All ready at this point I was furious. I re-dialed and this time Matt answered. I explained the story, and they promised they'd have him back home.

I came over to Michael's house and waited for him. He wasn't real late, so I wasn't mad. When I saw him, I gave him a hug and said that I was really hurt that he stood me up and didn't notify me when plans changed, but I could forgive him. What I couldn't stand was his attitude.

So I admitt, I was acting like his mother, but I was getting fed up of all the times he would change our plans and not tell me...hense I'd be waiting around for hours. I gave him a bunch of hug and tried to make the mood better.

Nothing.

Well it took a while and finally he said, "I told the guys that I'd probably just be getting a long long lecture when I came home."

I kissed him and things proceeded into much more. I don't really know why we did what we did...but at the moment it felt right. I thought we were both very happy. At least I was for a while...but when we finished...I still needed a bit of comforting.

I smiled and said, "See...now you can tell the guys you didn't get a lecture...but something that felt really really good."

We both laughed and laid there for a while. But a while turned into just a long time of silence. I was feeling uncomfortable thinking that he really really did hurt me again, and I just blew it off for the most part.

"Look, if you'e gonna keep feeling this way, maybe you should leave."

"No...I don't wanna leave."

"LEAVE!"

WHAT?! All of a sudden after an hour of straight passion, you're kicking me OUT! I just wanted a fuckin hug. I was still hurting. It wasn't THAT big of a deal, but the point that you didn't care one ounce made it all the worse.

So maybe it was my fault. I should've left. I should've listened to him, just like I listen to everyone else and do what everyone wants...but I didn't. I stayed. I sat there and wouldn't move. All I wanted was comfort again. Reassurance that I wouldn't be stood up again. Sex is good but that doesn't mean things are gonna change.

"What? Are you gonna start doing THIS AGAIN!" I got up and attempted to show him how aweful it would be if we ever got in a fight again. The hitting. But I never even touched him. Didn't hurt him. I replay that instant over and over and I keep thinking I should've just kept my mouth shut. I should've just left when he asked. He knew he was gonna explode...he was trying to stop me from pissing him off more.

But I didn't.

And suddenly I hear the words through his teeth, "You BITCH!" as I was driven into the couch. Sufficating. Unable to speak. Feeling helpless. He was getting stronger and stronger it seemed...or more brave to hurt me.

"GET OUT!"

Once again, I should've listened...but never did. I'm stubborn and a fool. What possessed him to snap so damn fast? This wasn't like him...he's different....he truly is....was perhaps?

I attempted to call the cops, but he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me straight backwards on my back.

I should've left. But never did. Is it my fault? Is the stress of his surgery too much? Would calling the cops help? Or make things worse?

As I climbed up the stairs to grab a vase he knocked me over. "You hit me again and I will break this vase!" I screamed. It was his mother's vase...I figured he wouldn't chance it and leave me alone.

Nope.

Several times I was hit next to my right eye. Over and over. And when he got off of me...I screamed. It was high pitched, unlike something that ever comes out of my mouth.

"GET OUT!" he yelled.

"You fucker! You are going to PAY!

But he's a man...and I'm just me. I wasn't nearly as strong. I didn't want to hit him or fight him physically. He was gonna lose something VERY dear to him...his video games. I attempted to break every thing of his for what he did to my face....but it continued.

My fault? His?

I'd say both...sadly.

And in the end something happened.

Perhaps it was God trying to save my life. Perhaps it was just coincidence. Whatever it was...HE was in the one in pain on the ground crying and sweating.

It was almost like a heart attack...and chest pains began.

"Oh my god! Do you want me to call the hospital!?"

"NO!"

And so I ran and got him water while he laid there crying in pain. He didn't have much stamina. I did have the stamina. Though my face was throbbing, he was the one with the heart valve freaking out.

When things were settled I looked at my face and cried. Though my face did not bruise, it looked like a huge golf ball on the side of my head. "What am I going to do, Michael? I really don't want to tell....I don't want people to know...."

"I dunno. But you can cover it with your hair. I don't even notice it then."

So I did...for the rest of the day. And yes, no one did notice it. He was right...but who would've thought it was going to bruise? I didn't even think to put something on it right away.

What a fool am I.

What a fuckin fool.

Sad thing is...the shiner it became wasn't even what bothered me most.

[Realto]

Rahlan don't ever think you have to put up with this shit. No one deserves to be roughed up by their partner, and worse, and call it chauvanistic if you like, but no guy should ever lay a finger on a girl, nomatter how bad things get.

Wrong. Absolutely wrong.

Don't ever put up with that. Period.

[Rahlan]

Yes, tonight was an interesting night. We got in a fight...pretty bad, and he took a quick swing at me. I got pissed and called 911. They would've pressed charges if I agreed...but I figured him having to talk to the cops would be enough to settle him down. It wasn't. He's still a bastard towards me and I'm very tired of it. He thinks I'm some freaky bitch.

What happened? I'm just so sad. We were PERFECT together. Everything was absolutley amazing between us...I want that back so bad. And now it's gone....completely gone. I dont ever think he'd ever be the nice guy to me again. Ever.

The cop told me I didn't deserve it...but I just wanna get along with him. I just want us back to the way we were. Why can't it be that way when I try to be so nice? What a bastard.

He stripped 3 years from my life, and then left me to die. I hate everything right now. I hate myself...I hate my job...the way things are going. His damn mother turned all my friends against me...and I lost him as well. I fuckin lost everything. I told him I'd probably just kill myself....

And he said, "You'd be doing us a favor if you did."

Yes...I don't want people to feel sorry for me. But that's what happened. And I'll be fuckin pissed if he finds a woman and treats her right and they become the perfect couple...because that's the treatment I deserved all a while. I invest so damn much into the relationship.

He can't do much at work because of his surgery...so I spent almost my entire 8 hours at work with him...doing his work and helping him. I thought I was being so nice to him...and he can't do one little thing for me.

Being nice is a bunch of shit. He got what he wanted...and he's a bastard. Maybe I should just become some bastard bitch and I'll find happiness that way.

I dunno. I just got home about 10 minutes ago from the whole cop/ex-boyfriend scenerio...and I am tempted to get him fuckin fired from his job because he allowed his grandma to use the discount card which is against the rules and is automatic termination. And his grandma lied that he was his mother...(they have the same last name so they got away with it) BUT I know better...I know he went against company policy. Damn bastard deserves to get arrested and become job-less.

He took my very soul away from me. I gave him EVERYTHING I could have to offer. All my love, almost every bit of spending money I spent on him, my virginity, years of my life, and giving him all my hopes and dreams. And NOW THIS!?

I look back to our good times, and it makes me want him back. But at the same time looking at our bad, I just want him to suffer for the pain he has caused me. I don't believe he should get his way at all....nope. He should never get his way. And I kick myself for not calling the cops that day on him. (okay, I tried once I guess but he stopped me)

GRRRRR....I'm so pissed and I have no clue what to do with my agression.

THERE.

[Rahlan]

Well things settled down between my ex and I. I hate calling him my ex. Anyway we are getting along very well now, which I am amazed by.

He told me he will miss me when I go on my trip, and he doesn't want me dead. (He's gonna control his spillage of saying things he doesn't mean.)

Now I got insider information that his mother is still saying awful things about me to MY FRIENDS!! Meaning, from what I hear my friends don't like me and are believing everything she says about me. I can't believe it! And he doesn't know about this stuff officially because she never talks about me to him. That woman is trying to ruin my life....and why? Why would she wanna do that?

Perhaps she's threatened by me because I am a nice girl, (not to mention fairly attractive) and it probably pisses her off that I took her son away from her so she's trying to get rid of me in the sneakiest way possible. Good lord.

It's one thing to lose my boyfriend...but another to lose my friends to a someone who has nothing better to do than gossip about me to MY FRIENDS and try to turn them against me.

God. I can't emphasize that enough. They are MY FRIENDS...not hers. And I can't understand why she'd wanna hurt me so much if I never see her anyway.

It's hard to handle. I just hope my ex-boyfriend can be a friend enough to me to set things straight with everyone since they'd believe him if he spoke up.

Oh well...this isn't all about me. Anyone else with a story of any sort?

[Gem_Rathonl]

My junior year of high school, two weeks before school let out for the summer my step father had a heart attack. You never really know what you'll do in the situation I found myself in that morning until well you're actually living it you know. At 7:30 we had more people tramping through our house than I'd ever seen and I was trying to keep my 10 year old sister and 12 year old brother out of the way and trying to think of what I could do that would help best.

The worst part about that morning is the fact that the guy on volunteer fire dept. wouldn't do cpr and mouth to mouth and all of that so my mother had to. About that time I figured the best thing I could do was get the kids out of the house. We all knew what was happening and yet we didn't want to believe it. So I got them to school and around one in the afternoon while I was attempting to eat lunch my mother came to get me. When the girl came and told my mom was there I was in mid-chew. I knew it, I knew what had happened. I knew what had happened when I left the house that morning. I couldn't swallow and nearly choked on what was in my mouth.

When I got in the car I asked mom and she told me and that was the only time I cried for the man that had been in my life since I was four. My brother and sister reacted as I expected they would have. My brother said little and my sister balled and she is still coping with his death now I think. Being daddy's little princess and all it must be hard losing the person that kept her on a pedestal for her whole life.

I did everything with my mom in that week. Little did I know she would keep me attached to her hip the entirety of that summer. I went with her to make the funeral preparations. Two weeks to the day my step father passed away she began to have panic attacks. I was dragged to the ER close to 20 times in two months. Now I avoid the ER as if it has a bacteria that I'm afraid I might catch.

Not only that but she stopped doing everything. I mean everything, she'd sit on the couch and look out the window all day. She didn't smile and didn't behave as she used to. That was not the person I knew to be my mother. I just wanted to scream at her. I was 3 months away from my 18th birthday and I was running the house almost completely. I didn't pay the bills or anything like that but I was trying to clean a whole house and cook dinner every night. The hardest thing I've ever done in my short life was watch my mother, who is a very steady if not slightly batty person fall apart and those two kids run hog wild because I couldn't and still can't get them to do what they should.

On the last day of July my mom hit the breaking point. She didn't do anything to herself thankfully but she did something for herself. She admitted herself to the phyciatric ward basically. The very next day I managed to catch up my brother and sister and make them help me start cleaning that house because honest to god it was a pigsty. I couldn't keep up with the mess those two make so it pilled up on me after awhile.

But what really steams me is what happened while we were trying to make that house look like civilized humans lived there and not a pack of hounds. A family friend was there helping us and wonder of wonders who shows up? CPS(Child protective services). They treated me like I was all of 2 years old and not almost 18. What is really bad about it is the person that called em happened to be the guy that was suposed to be our friend and helping us. I was under enough stress and that just made it all worse. My brother and sister were placed in foster care and I was made to stay (even though my name was never in the files and nor was I part of the investigation) with the very same people that basically betrayed us.

Those kids weren't neglected. That house was but not those kids. I found it pretty damn messed up to try and rip a family up for no reason and knowing everything you said is a lie. The straw that broke the camel's back though was the fact that my brother and sister thought this was some grand adventure and the greatest thing that had ever happened to them. They weren't worried about their mother and the sure as hell weren't worried about what was going to happen to them in the future. I know it's bad of me to say, but after that I grew to have a great disdain of those kids.

I stayed with those people for two weeks not knowing I didn't have to. When I found out that I didn't have to when my mother went to court I was pissed off. I hate being lied to and I hate being made to do something that I never had to do in the first place.

I spent that whole summer watching the people I cared about the most fall apart and watching my family be ripped apart. I was the only solid ground my mom found for that whole time. What is really sad about that whole situation is the fact that I lost more than one person. I lost my step father, I lost who my mom was and I lost myself.

That saying that it will only get worse before it gets better is more true that even I knew.

[Rahlan]

I totally agree with the comment of it only getting worse before it gets better. With that being said, at least we all can keep that in our mind that while the "worst" is happening...good will some day follow. At least that's what I have kept telling myself over and over.

The only thing that's pulled me through is always saying, "It'll be better the moment I move back to college outta this small town." And that seemed sooooo far away at the time, but now it's only 5 days away!

Hang in there.