TGH soils the Damned land! (TGH vs Damned / open)

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TGH soils the Damned land! (TGH vs Damned / open)

Postby _Caligula_ » Thu Nov 13, 2008 1:47 am

Caligula smiled and laughed, cocking his head back and choking on blood. He pushed himself onto his elbows, leaning up from the floor. He spoke to his usurpers with a devious smile.

You think you have won. Haha. I laugh at such foolishness. You soil my lands with your Hordes, and you think you shall get away unscathed? Think again.

Caligula heard the goblins cackle at him, as they moved in with their cleavers ready to kill.

Filthy fucking heathen scum! I promise you will come to rue the day you soiled the land with your dishonor! You hide behind your excuses and lies, hide behind your numbers and size. One day my friends, the numbers won't be in your favor, and then the reckoning will come.

Caligula dragged himself across the ground, leaving a blood trail as he pulled himself forward. The goblins laughed and closed in quickly. Caligula reached for the window, his hand slipping against the marble edges. He scrambled, pulling himself up into the window, glancing out over the roof and courtyard below. The rooftops were aflame, the whole city burning. All his men were dead, every last one, even the royal guards. The mere numbers of the Horde were too much to match. Caligula had rallied his troops and made a retaliation strike, even destroying one city, but then the Horde had come again, in a second wave. The second wave was just too much, and the Damned were broken. Their armies reduced to nothing. Caligula looked at his attackers, glanced at the flesh hanging from their cleavers.

Angelique shall judge thee guilty, and justice will be delivered so you may die with honor. Until then, I must go and save my best consul.

Caligula rolled backwards out of the window as his attackers grabbed at his jerkin. He fell, tumbling backwards, down onto the flaming roof below. The roof collapsed underneath his weight, giving way below him. He grasped at the burning shingles as he fell to the ground below.

Slamming to the dirt, Caligula looked around dazed. Between burning bodies running through the street, Caligula saw his consul. The mighty warhorse charged through the crowd to his master. Caligula grabbed the bootstraps of his saddle, pulling himself up from the dirt. Rolling onto his horse's back, Caligula sighed, staring up at the burning city.

Ahhh...

As the horse rushed him out of the city, Caligula lay on it's back, writing a scribe to any who he may reach.

People of Tonan, look upon my ravaged city, and weep for my people. Murdered, burned, looted. The cowards of the Horde make claims of wrongdoing, but I received no such scribe prior to their thrashing of my men and women. Look at the slaughter of my people, and think, what if it was your people dying? What if it was your people, outsized and outnumbered two to one? What then? I bid any who hear this letter, before I die at the hands of my attacker, hear my cries. Let whoever has the courage, stop these war crimes and show these terrorists of Tonan that the people will not go quietly into the night. Do something before it's your people under the knife.

Caligula slipped the letter into his breast pocket and laid back. As soon as they reached a Tavern or town, he would send the letter to every kingdom in the area, with hope that the honorable few still left in the land would hear his words and take action before the Horde grew too large to stop from terrorizing all of Tonan.
GM: Legions of the DAMNED
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Re: TGH soils the Damned land! (TGH vs Damned / open)

Postby Porckie » Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:20 pm

A calamitous cacaphony arose from the Fisher´s Hall; various voices were raised, as well as a fishing rod or two, someone applied a nose whistle and another started to thump away at the table with a blowfish. Amidst the noise, one could easily hear the names of different guilds of Tonan: DoC, Judges, DEM, FEL, AoA, HOUSE and even NPO. Apparently, the OAFS were having yet another one of their famously effective warchats. Just as the tension started to rise and the blowfish started to fall apart, the chaos was disturbed by the entrance of a puffer peon.

“ Hail to thee, rubbers of the Rod! I am sorry to intrude on your …negotiations. But we have captured a messenger of the followers of the one called ‘Hang-a-leek’.”

“Ooo..which guild did it belong to?”

“It belonged to Damned, sir!”

“Ah the horse whisperers! Good, good! Then it is settled! We will strike down the Damned! We will have our rightful revenge!“

“Ah, sir. No, no. The messenger was carrying a message; in fact, it was this fact, that enabled us to identify this person as a messenger!”

“Ooo!”

“Yes sir, here it is.”

The messenger handed the dwarf a little note. Porckie cleared his throat and straightened his pointy hat and started looking cross-eyed.

“People of Tonan, look upon my ravaged city, and weep for my people. Murdered, burned, looted. The cowards of the Horde make claims of wrongdoing, but I received no such scribe prior to their thrashing of my men and women. Look at the slaughter of my people, and think, what if it was your people dying? What if it was your people, outsized and outnumbered two to one? What then? I bid any who hear this letter, before I die at the hands of my attacker, hear my cries. Let whoever has the courage, stop these war crimes and show these terrorists of Tonan that the people will not go quietly into the night. Do something before it's your people under the knife.”

Porckie scratched his head.

“Hmm..it appears that the Damned are being murdered by…hmm…bovine artworks of a prostitute. Gentlemen! I think we have found our wartarget for today! We will attack the prostitute and steal its artistic cattle!”

Porckie flailed his arms about, giving many directions.

“Frou Frou, gather your cheese and garlic, we need you tactical insights! TEVA, bring us some milk and cookies! Topheh, do something tophable! Servants, man the dingies! We will go to the Damned and give them omelettes and then, we will move upon the Golden Whore and we will not pay her fee!!!”
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Re: TGH soils the Damned land! (TGH vs Damned / open)

Postby TEVA » Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:23 pm

"Milk and cookies!?!?”

TEVA’s eyebrows wiggled ominously, as she tried to remember all the times she had told Porckie and the OAFS that she had stopped lactating a long time ago. She sighed happily as she pictured the surprise on their faces every time she had told them this and the way they would point their fingers at her upper body and make comments about them looking pint-size…

She shook her head and, while her hair was cascading down her shoulders, she started to rummage through her backpack. Within a few second, TEVA revealed a big, yellow cookie jar and held it up to each of the OAFish members present in the Fisher’s Hall.

“Who wants to get his hand in my cookiejar?”
*
"Gratitude is a mark of a noble soul and a refined character. We like
to be around those who are grateful. They tend to brighten all around them.
**



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Re: TGH soils the Damned land! (TGH vs Damned / open)

Postby _Caligula_ » Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:44 pm

OOC: you guys crack me up, seriously. oh and thanks for giving me someone to RP with, since TGH isn't bright enough to make a post in their own RP warthread. (yes I will continue to make insults toward their intelligence, even when its old and not funny anymore)

RP:

Caligula moaned and rubbed his head. He lifted his face from the table and looked around the room. The inside of the tavern was decorated with fishing rods, lures, hats, cats, and other oddities. Caligula grabbed the warm mug of ale that sat on the table in front of him. The taste was grand. Caligula motioned for a wench to come to his table.

I don't seem to remember much about arriving here. Tell me beer wench, where am I? And what's with the goofy decorations?

The wench laughed and explained.

This was once a great tavern for the Oafs sir. They used to have their parties of ole here. They've moved around and set up more taverns and such, but we keep the rods and such up to mark their presence. They are a fun bunch.

Caligula smirked. He knew of the Oafs. In fact, he had been a member there a few times, (fought with naggie-poo others, but that was history), but most recently they had attacked his lands.

Oafs eh? Goofy lil bastages...

Caligula grumbled and waved the wench away. Figures he would escape right into a heathen tavern. What was his consul thinking? Dropping him off at an old Oafs hideout? Ridiculous! What kind of consul was this!?

Caligula downed his ale, then reached into his breast pocket for the letters he had written... Gone! For a moment he was taken back, but then he decided the letters must have been sent away during his blackout.

We'll see if any have the walnuts to do something about it... he thought.
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Re: TGH soils the Damned land! (TGH vs Damned / open)

Postby Thepheonix » Fri Nov 14, 2008 12:32 pm

Toph watched as Porckie burst into a flurry of motion and energy, directing everyone in the hall to stop what they were doing and make omlettes and war! Toph was quite inspired.

"Do something Tophable? DO YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?!?!?!" Toph roared, standing up and lifting his arms. Suddenly, hundreds of omlettes appeared in the air above the milling throngs

"I have created our omlettes! Now, we can victoriously go forth and" Toph paused... "oh... wait..."

*SPLAT*

Toph looked around to see that everyone had stopped milling and was now trying to pick pieces of omlettes out of their hair and clothes. As he watched, a servant slipped on an omlette and scattered the attack mice he had been carrying, who got free and did what they were born to do... attack.

"Sorry, sorry everyone!" Toph called out as he started using his magic to clear out the omlettes from the room. When the omlettes were gone, Toph concentrated again and a box appeared before him. The smell of cooked eggs rose from it.

"Much better" he said to himself. Now, they just had to deliver them.
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